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tardypants

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tardypants

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  • Number of visits : 266
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tardypants's page activity

Visits<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 2:44am

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tardypants's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife told me that she was leaving me for someone with more hair. FML

#15617412
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42734) - you deserved it (4328)

On 04/03/2011 at 5:16am - love - by Baldy (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was awoken by my neighbor pounding on my back door at 3 am, only to look outside and see my car engulfed in flames. FML

#15226621
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37596) - you deserved it (2644)

On 03/07/2011 at 4:19am - misc - by WTF -

Today, I had a plaster cast removed from my arm. After telling the nurse it felt like the saw was cutting my skin, she tells me there is no way that it could touch my skin and that I was being paranoid. She cracked open the cast. Burns, blisters and bleeding skin were revealed. FML

#14484091
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41888) - you deserved it (2427)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:54am - health - by omfgitburns (man) -

Today, I fell over on the bus. X-Rays revealed not only that I have been growing extra bones in my foot, but that when I fell, I crushed all of them. Doctors don't know how to fix bones that aren't supposed to be there, so they're just going to cut them out. Two days before Christmas. FML

#14257367
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34800) - you deserved it (2364)

On 12/19/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113138) - you deserved it (15262)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML

#14080015
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24207) - you deserved it (6184)

On 12/04/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by chi-huaHUA - United States

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41161) - you deserved it (5427)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

#13841741
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55416) - you deserved it (2702)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No, now get out of my house." FML

#13353894
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39583) - you deserved it (4258)

On 10/07/2010 at 10:26am - love - by Vinny1017 - United States (New York)

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML

#6463128
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28044) - you deserved it (18859)

On 11/26/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to put my 17 year old cat down. I cried the whole way up to the vet's office and back. After finally coming to terms with the situation, and trying to forget, my dad's friend walks up to me and says, "So, I heard you killed your cat?" FML

#6415288
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31685) - you deserved it (3386)

On 11/22/2009 at 11:30pm - love - by petlover (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my grandmother. All of my cousins and I went to say "hi" to her, one by one. When I got up to her and said, "Hi grandma!", she said in Chinese, "I don't remember this one." FML

#6177854
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30803) - you deserved it (2186)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by ForgottenKid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was pooped on by a goose, peed on by a puppy, bit in the face by the mother dog, fell through the floor of the barn loft, and without knowing it was electric, rested my hand on the horse fence. FML

#5529858
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39454) - you deserved it (8384)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad threw up on my dress. My wedding dress. While he was walking me down the aisle. FML

#5431365
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60041) - you deserved it (3028)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:38pm - misc - by poorgirl (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

#4637795
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56528) - you deserved it (4700)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Girl - United Kingdom (Hampshire)



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