Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tardypants

Search for a member

tardypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 140
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

tardypants's last visitors

sCrEaMiNgToAsT

tardypants's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of tardypants's badges

tardypants's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife told me that she was leaving me for someone with more hair. FML

#15617412
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39936) - you deserved it (4109)

On 04/03/2011 at 5:16am - love - by Baldy (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was awoken by my neighbor pounding on my back door at 3 am, only to look outside and see my car engulfed in flames. FML

#15226621
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33082) - you deserved it (2357)

On 03/07/2011 at 4:19am - misc - by WTF -

Today, I had a plaster cast removed from my arm. After telling the nurse it felt like the saw was cutting my skin, she tells me there is no way that it could touch my skin and that I was being paranoid. She cracked open the cast. Burns, blisters and bleeding skin were revealed. FML

#14484091
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35353) - you deserved it (1797)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:54am - health - by omfgitburns (man) -

Today, I fell over on the bus. X-Rays revealed not only that I have been growing extra bones in my foot, but that when I fell, I crushed all of them. Doctors don't know how to fix bones that aren't supposed to be there, so they're just going to cut them out. Two days before Christmas. FML

#14257367
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30632) - you deserved it (2057)

On 12/19/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104411) - you deserved it (14015)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML

#14080015
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19524) - you deserved it (5582)

On 12/04/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by chi-huaHUA - United States

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36643) - you deserved it (5023)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

#13841741
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49018) - you deserved it (2313)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No, now get out of my house." FML

#13353894
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36765) - you deserved it (4004)

On 10/07/2010 at 10:26am - love - by Vinny1017 - United States (New York)

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML

#6463128
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22860) - you deserved it (16594)

On 11/26/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to put my 17 year old cat down. I cried the whole way up to the vet's office and back. After finally coming to terms with the situation, and trying to forget, my dad's friend walks up to me and says, "So, I heard you killed your cat?" FML

#6415288
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28213) - you deserved it (3061)

On 11/22/2009 at 11:30pm - love - by petlover (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my credit card number was stolen. The thief used it to purchase identity theft protection. FML

#6248047
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31545) - you deserved it (2223)

On 11/10/2009 at 8:17pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I saw my grandmother. All of my cousins and I went to say "hi" to her, one by one. When I got up to her and said, "Hi grandma!", she said in Chinese, "I don't remember this one." FML

#6177854
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25534) - you deserved it (1830)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by ForgottenKid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was pooped on by a goose, peed on by a puppy, bit in the face by the mother dog, fell through the floor of the barn loft, and without knowing it was electric, rested my hand on the horse fence. FML

#5529858
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34969) - you deserved it (7723)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad threw up on my dress. My wedding dress. While he was walking me down the aisle. FML

#5431365
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57142) - you deserved it (2801)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:38pm - misc - by poorgirl (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: