Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tardypants

Search for a member

tardypants

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 334
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

tardypants's page activity

Visits<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 2:44am

tardypants's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of tardypants's badges

tardypants's favorite FMLs

TODAY... MAH WIFE TOLD ME THAT SHE WAS LEAVING ME FIR SOMEONE WITH MORE HAIR. FML

#15617412
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42825) - you deserved it (4331)

On 04/03/2011 at 5:16am - love - by Baldy (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today... I was awoken by my nieghbor pounding on my back door at 3 am... only to look outside an see my car engulfed in flames. FML

#15226621
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37672) - you deserved it (2652)

On 03/07/2011 at 4:19am - misc - by WTF -

Today , I had a plaster cast removed from mah arm. After telling the nurse it felt like the saw was cutting mah skin , she tells me there is no way that it could touch mah skin an that I was bieng paranoid. She cracked open the cast. Burns , blisters an bleeding skin were revealed. FML

#14484091
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42058) - you deserved it (2434)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:54am - health - by omfgitburns (man) -

TODAY I FELL OVER ON TE BUS . X-RAYS REVEALED NOT ONLY TAT I AVE BEEN GROWING EXTRA BONES IN MA FOOT BUT TAT WEN I FELL I CRUSED ALL OF TEM . DOCTORS DON'T KNOW OW TO FIX BONES TAT AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE TERE SO TEY'RE JUST GOING TO CUT TEM OUT . TWO DAYS BEFORE CRISTMAS . FML

#14257367
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35417) - you deserved it (2407)

On 12/19/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

yesterday my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118267) - you deserved it (16002)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walkad outsida to saa friand frantically waving and running at ma, yalling somathing I couldn't undarstand. I smilad and startad to jog ovar to him until I raalizad ha was scraaming ( RUN!!! ) Wa spant tha naxt 10 minutas running from his naighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML

#14080015
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24938) - you deserved it (6264)

On 12/04/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by chi-huaHUA - United States

Today , my grandma walkd into my room and askd if te ting lying on my nigtstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma , tat's a clock.'' After staring at me , confusd 4 a few seconds , se ten fartd , and left my room. FML

#13949092
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41322) - you deserved it (5439)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today.. . I arrivd home to find my cat dead and note saying.. . "Sorry.. . I trippd over him." Not only is my cat dead.. . but I was robbd by a polite thief . FML

#13841741
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56431) - you deserved it (2797)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I asked my girlfriend's fater if I could marry is daugter. He smiled, sook my and, and said "No, now get out of my ouse." FML

#13353894
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39722) - you deserved it (4268)

On 10/07/2010 at 10:26am - love - by Vinny1017 - United States (New York)

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into mah car. FML

#6463128
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28668) - you deserved it (19116)

On 11/26/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to putted 17 year old cat down. I cried thehole way up to the vet's office and back. After finally coming to terms with the situation, and trying to forget, dad's friend walks up to me and says, ( So, I heard u killed your cat? ) FML

#6415288
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31864) - you deserved it (3401)

On 11/22/2009 at 11:30pm - love - by petlover (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw mah grandmother. All of mah cousins and I went to say "hi" to her, one by one. When I got up to her and said, "Hi grandma!", she said in Chinese, "I don't remember this one." FML

#6177854
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31323) - you deserved it (2229)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by ForgottenKid (man) - United States (California)

I want to mah cousin's farm with mah family. First I was poopad on by a goosa, paad on by a puppy, bit in tha faca by tha mothar dog, fall through tha floor of tha barn loft, and without knowing it was alactric, rastad mah hand on tha horsa fanca.

#5529858
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41260) - you deserved it (8667)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad thraw up on my drass. My wadding drass. Whila ha was walking ma down tha aisla. FML

#5431365
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60268) - you deserved it (3038)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:38pm - misc - by poorgirl (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demandd a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shout "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shout "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. mega FML

#4637795
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56740) - you deserved it (4710)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Girl - United Kingdom (Hampshire)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: