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Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40005) - you deserved it (31194)
On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18948) - you deserved it (6500)
On 12/05/2010 at 6:12am - intimacy - by miiiiilk (woman) - United States (California)
Today, as I was walking into my apartment building, a douchebag leaned out his truck window and yelled, "HOW MUCH FOR A BJ?" He then pulled into a spot near my car. Apparently I have a charming new neighbor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20594) - you deserved it (1671)
On 12/02/2010 at 12:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18980) - you deserved it (4150)
On 11/28/2010 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9629) - you deserved it (26074)
On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18452) - you deserved it (4369)
On 11/15/2010 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by rockefoe (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42780) - you deserved it (5966)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my wife started checking her email on her Blackberry while we were having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22549) - you deserved it (7107)
On 10/19/2010 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Puerto Rico)
Today, my boss told me that I'd confessed my love to him last night when he'd held my hair back as I puked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7311) - you deserved it (20443)
On 10/19/2010 at 11:24am - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I came home from work. I was really tired and told my son that I would make him dinner later. He called the cops saying, "Mommy won't feed me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25175) - you deserved it (4065)
On 10/17/2010 at 12:52pm - kids - by Lauren Smith - United States (California)
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29807) - you deserved it (6024)
On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26943) - you deserved it (15285)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36067) - you deserved it (5798)
On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States
Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20514) - you deserved it (6661)
On 10/11/2010 at 6:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my mom rolled up the car window on my fingers. She thought my yelling and crying was because I was throwing a tantrum. I'm 26. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20436) - you deserved it (2491)
On 10/11/2010 at 3:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
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