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tambo5135

Offline (the 11/18/2014 at 2:36am) | Search for a member

tambo5135

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 840
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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tambo5135's FML badges

YDI master

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tambo5135's favorite FMLs

Today, my sweet tooth went to a whole different level when I took a swig out of a bottle of maple syrup. FML

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

#21290608
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32270) - you deserved it (2883)

On 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm - kids - by failure (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend was giving me a back massage while I was laying on my stomach. A few minutes into it, he stopped. I turned around to see why; he was taking a picture of my butt. FML

#21290182
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29183) - you deserved it (6432)

On 11/02/2014 at 12:51am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I saw what my mom handed out for trick-or-treaters last night. Toothbrushes. Yup, we're that house. FML

#21289931
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33687) - you deserved it (2799)

On 11/01/2014 at 6:22pm - kids - by ThaBoss12 - United States (California)

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed in Charlie Brown's ghost costume, a white sheet with holes all over. I got beat up for dressing like a member of the KKK. FML

#21289401
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32973) - you deserved it (6286)

On 10/31/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by Halloween Fail (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I've been one year sober. My health has improved a lot, unlike my social life, which has died a horrible, lonely death. FML

#21286990
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30046) - you deserved it (4051)

On 10/28/2014 at 2:04pm - health - by not drunk (woman) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23963) - you deserved it (31587)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

#21283544
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37847) - you deserved it (9984)

On 10/23/2014 at 12:04am - love - by Rachel - United States (Ohio)

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31691) - you deserved it (4323)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

#21281207
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30157) - you deserved it (4756)

On 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28909) - you deserved it (7437)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

#21280942
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34524) - you deserved it (4310)

On 10/19/2014 at 7:22am - kids - by how about never? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34220) - you deserved it (12235)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because "Nobody's that happy without drugs". FML

#21280487
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38161) - you deserved it (2558)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25827) - you deserved it (52032)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)



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