About takrushi : 20 year old bored psychology major. No people I can't read your mind.
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18876) - you deserved it (2423)
On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was having a debate with my friend, who actually believes karma is real. He got very angry with me and stormed off, tripping over his own feet in the process. I laughed and asked what he'd done in a past life to deserve that one. He responded by getting up and punching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7448) - you deserved it (29249)
On 06/07/2012 at 5:26pm - health - by sh3n-D (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)
Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24448) - you deserved it (3292)
On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I had an admissions interview at my dream college. I spent hours practicing questions and picking the perfect outfit. It was not until after the interview that I realized I'd scratched a pimple while waiting, and my forehead had been smeared with blood the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21807) - you deserved it (2567)
On 06/07/2012 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29002) - you deserved it (1850)
On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)
Today, I was playing an online game in nothing but my boxers, when suddenly a girl joined my team. I immediately felt embarrassed and put some pants on. There were no webcams involved. I need to get out more. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13021) - you deserved it (8930)
On 06/01/2012 at 12:48am - misc - by furred (man) - Philippines
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31361) - you deserved it (2941) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23719) - you deserved it (1292)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)
Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16019) - you deserved it (6150)
On 04/28/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18064) - you deserved it (1542)
On 04/26/2012 at 12:36am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17273) - you deserved it (1283)
On 04/25/2012 at 4:50pm - work - by A Henderson (man) - United States
Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17607) - you deserved it (2302)
On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23664) - you deserved it (1318)
On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21774) - you deserved it (3941)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20723) - you deserved it (10906)
On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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