About takenover : Owned by Matthew Gray Gubler. Haters to the left.
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Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23281) - you deserved it (17420)
On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out that when my mom says she's going to kick me in the head to wake me up for an important interview, she actually means it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10076) - you deserved it (12287)
On 01/10/2012 at 1:04am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17980) - you deserved it (1911)
On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States
Today, I added "a road sign" to my ever-growing list of 'Things which have hit my car as a result of the wind.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (16692) - you deserved it (2372)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:05am - misc - by it'sabitwindy - United States
Today, I added "a road sign" to my ever-growing list of 'Things which have hit my car as a result of the wind.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (16692) - you deserved it (2372)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:05am - misc - by it'sabitwindy - United States
Today, I went to the bank to make a deposit. While I was waiting on my transaction, the bank tellers were making fun of me. I could tell cause I heard them through the speaker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22567) - you deserved it (1600)
On 11/02/2011 at 11:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16770) - you deserved it (2276)
On 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm - love - by DeadScared (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, our electric horse fence broke. I turned it off so I could fix it. As I was grabbing the fence, my brother thought it would be hilarious to turn the fence back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22916) - you deserved it (2541)
On 09/17/2011 at 7:42pm - animals - by ouch (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I noticed that when I sweat I smell like bacon. I'm a vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15278) - you deserved it (7487)
On 09/16/2011 at 5:38am - misc - by sweatstreaks - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24305) - you deserved it (4386)
On 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (South Carolina)
Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26409) - you deserved it (4404)
On 06/25/2011 at 10:21am - misc - by woahheylex - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, she said she was too busy to talk to me. My sister asked who was on the phone, she replied "the dog sitter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27922) - you deserved it (3364)
On 06/16/2011 at 2:25am - animals - by crapped on - United States
Today, my sister and I both got "good luck" cards from our aunt wishing us well on our exams. My sister's said "We know you will do well". Mine said "We will love you no matter what happens". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29840) - you deserved it (3506)
On 05/14/2011 at 4:09pm - misc - by simonjudy (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27452) - you deserved it (9170)
On 05/10/2011 at 1:18am - kids - by Whatdididowrong? -
Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27470) - you deserved it (3200)
On 04/24/2011 at 9:11pm - animals - by electricpuddle -
Monday 17 June 2013
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