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takenover

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takenover
  • Town/Country : Portland, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 November 1984 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 581
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About takenover : Owned by Matthew Gray Gubler. Haters to the left.

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takenover's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

#19488517
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8622) - you deserved it (16757)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

#19387601
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15713) - you deserved it (28878)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:03am - love - by Jeff make - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried to find myself a friend on Craigslist. FML

#19122192
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18933) - you deserved it (6741)

On 02/20/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by shea234 - United States

Today, my car key clicker wouldn't let me in. After a few frustrating minutes, I realized that, besides electronic capabilities, it's also an actual key that fits in a hole to unlock my door. FML

#19119927
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4581) - you deserved it (25346)

On 02/20/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML

#19113390
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26247) - you deserved it (3298)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the pool boy has been stealing from me for over a year now. The latest things that he has taken are my laptop, the cash I hide in my closet and my wife. FML

#19092869
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35563) - you deserved it (3633)

On 02/16/2012 at 11:26am - misc - by mypoolisstilldirty (man) - Australia

Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML

#19091480
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16419) - you deserved it (3676)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:43am - animals - by parkertownparadise (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14340) - you deserved it (26880)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24529) - you deserved it (1792)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML

#19059708
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26325) - you deserved it (1988)

On 02/12/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend and I were playing Oregon Trail online. I googled "dysentery", and sent her an IM about the mind-blowing number of cartoons of people violently shitting everywhere. I accidentally sent it to my aunt. FML

#19048896
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5688) - you deserved it (17124)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by Gabby (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML

#19046933
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25509) - you deserved it (1927)

On 02/11/2012 at 8:41am - kids - by FuckLife (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that he purposely makes me angry, because when I'm angry, I clean, and it saves him having to do it himself. FML

#18977119
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27732) - you deserved it (5597)

On 02/02/2012 at 3:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18458) - you deserved it (3047)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the gas station, paid the clerk, and drove off without pumping any gas. FML

#18921610
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11802) - you deserved it (32469)

On 01/26/2012 at 11:46pm - money - by ChevRooon - United States



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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