Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

take_me_home

Search for a member

take_me_home

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 2 March 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3154
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About take_me_home : Today..... FML!!!

take_me_home's page activity

Visits<b>stephen_lee</b> - the 05/11/2010 at 11:24pm<b>piderman13</b> - the 05/26/2009 at 5:22pm<b>Doorhandle57</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 5:15pm<b>td32</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 3:42pm<b>wellaintit_irony</b> - the 03/27/2009 at 11:42pm<b>amiR</b> - the 03/25/2009 at 12:18pm<b>maddog</b> - the 03/24/2009 at 7:27am<b>JBiz</b> - the 03/23/2009 at 1:30am

take_me_home's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

take_me_home's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on Facebook to find that my little brother had messed with my profile. He wrote on my status that I'm a piece of shit, I have no life, and several other nasty and perverted things. Underneath, it said 26 of my friends liked this. I'm new to Facebook. So far I have 26 friends. FML

#492068
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55213) - you deserved it (7658)

On 03/20/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by noname (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML

#487098
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51858) - you deserved it (15832)

On 03/20/2009 at 11:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

#415809
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99799) - you deserved it (45339)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by MrAwsum (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52306) - you deserved it (98055)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML

#245374
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66436) - you deserved it (21551)

On 03/08/2009 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by lovewedge (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (233677) - you deserved it (30983)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: