taerts

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taerts

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 August 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8575
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About taerts : I like hearts and I like tarts, hence, taerts. I also like Simon Baker and Korean food. I like the world.

I'm pretty damn optimistic :)

taerts's page activity

Visits<b>lenovot61p</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 8:05am<b>dudeutookhrs</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 5:25am<b>Supaviper</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 4:02pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 11:14pm<b>unluckyorwhat</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 7:28pm<b>greamreaper</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:39pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 10:15am<b>cocainewhore</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 2:50am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:31pm<b>robertarose3789</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 5:27am<b>teotsi</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 3:20am<b>regenerate</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 7:42am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:16am<b>yoursucklives</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 2:01am<b>Kazenoe</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 8:08am<b>ohKylee</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 2:31am

taerts's FML badges

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of taerts's badges

taerts's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé's grandmother kept trying to introduce him to this "simply absolutely amazing girl," who she thought "would be just the perfect date" for him. At our engagement party. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2012 at 2:47am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I asked my teenage daughter to read off directions from my iPhone while I drove. She went on Instagram instead. We missed the turn by 32 miles. FML

by lostforlife / 07/12/2012 at 8:52pm / United States (Maine) / Kids

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

by LetItRip / 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML

by Ian Artis / 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States / Work

Today, I discovered I'd left my coffee on top of my car when it fell through the sun roof whilst I was driving, showering me. FML

by hot coffee / 07/12/2012 at 11:17am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 2:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away. FML

by bob / 07/03/2012 at 1:33pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my new boss gave everyone a lecture about sexual harassment in the workplace. Which would be fine if he'd been able to tear his gaze off my chest for more than a minute at a time. FML

by hypocrite / 07/03/2012 at 12:43pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I found out my home health patient purposely drinks tons of prune juice every night so I will have a huge mess to clean up in the morning because I'm "a lazy bastard" and I "need to work harder." FML

by melikeyturtles / 07/03/2012 at 11:08am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I asked the 7-year-old that I was babysitting if he could burp on command. He said he could, and began to demonstrate. It turns out he couldn't purposely burp, but he definitely could vomit on command. FML

by ew / 07/03/2012 at 7:33am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML

by spiderfail / 07/03/2012 at 4:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML

by Dreamer / 07/03/2012 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while walking around my college campus, I passed by a dorm where a drunk guy was peeing out one of the top floor windows while his drunk friends cheered him on. That guy is my boyfriend. Lucky me. FML

by 21! / 07/02/2012 at 9:53pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

by nobrony / 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

by Myriam / 06/18/2012 at 12:05pm / Maldives (Maale) / Miscellaneous