Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

taerts

Search for a member

taerts

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 August 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5213
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About taerts : I like hearts and I like tarts, hence, taerts. I also like Simon Baker and Korean food. I like the world.

I'm pretty damn optimistic :)

taerts's page activity

Visits<b>cocainewhore</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 2:50am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:31pm<b>robertarose3789</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 5:27am<b>teotsi</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 3:20am<b>regenerate</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 7:42am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:16am<b>yoursucklives</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 2:01am<b>Kazenoe</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 8:08am<b>ohKylee</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 2:31am

taerts's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of taerts's badges

taerts's favorite FMLs

Today, I got home from the hospital after I burned my hand. Why? I dropped my phone in the pot while stirring hot soup, and I reached in to get it. FML

#19940108
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6453) - you deserved it (33971)

On 07/15/2012 at 3:45am - health - by scooter922 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mom came over to me and whispered something in my ear. I didn't hear it and assumed it was a joke, so I started laughing. Turns out my aunt died. FML

#19939490
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9985) - you deserved it (24088)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by RIP - United States

Today, my mother screamed at my brother for ages for playing a Nicki Minaj music video. She said it's "terrible, demonic garbage" that'll get us "spitroasted in Hell". I don't even disagree with the first part, but she does this kind of thing every single day when I get home from my night job. FML

#19938478
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17158) - you deserved it (1960)

On 07/14/2012 at 8:22pm - misc - by arghgffhdfg (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my boss that in some parts of the world, it's currently winter, due to the different hemispheres. He scoffed, accused me of "making shit up," and said that if I took him for a fool again, I'd be looking for a new job. FML

#19938153
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25859) - you deserved it (1974)

On 07/14/2012 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

#19937636
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5398) - you deserved it (47529)

On 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML

#19936728
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18320) - you deserved it (4399)

On 07/14/2012 at 10:43am - health - by Anonymous - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML

#19935872
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15077) - you deserved it (29337)

On 07/14/2012 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Leyla - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home in tears after my boyfriend admitted to cheating on me. My dad told me to sit down and tell him everything. He's pretty eccentric, so I wasn't fazed when he put on a pair of sunglasses. When I stopped talking, I noticed his mouth was slightly agape and he was snoring. FML

#19934341
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25048) - you deserved it (2331)

On 07/13/2012 at 9:41pm - love - by heartbroken (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was fired for telling a customer's kid to shut his mouth. As revenge, I sent the CEO a picture I acquired months ago of my boss drunkenly pissing on a cow. He wrote that it was the funniest thing he had ever seen, and that I am "clearly an insufferable killjoy; a total liability to the company." FML

#19934119
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6609) - you deserved it (30231)

On 07/13/2012 at 8:48pm - work - by Alexander D. (man) - United States

Today, I'm still freshly circumcised. My penis is still very sensitive, and I can't squat to grab stuff off the floor because of the pressure against my jeans. Kicking the objects up into my hands was working well, that is until I spilled a pack of 300 toothpicks all over the floor. FML

#19933924
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27169) - you deserved it (6870)

On 07/13/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to the grocery store with three bags full of sausages that I'd drunkenly bought the night before. Even though the manager remembered me, he wouldn't give me a refund, and now I'll be lucky if I can pay my rent this month. FML

#19933310
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5803) - you deserved it (32054)

On 07/13/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by minaaaaajftw (man) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML

#19933084
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25834) - you deserved it (2367)

On 07/13/2012 at 3:08pm - work - by fucking pissants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25427) - you deserved it (2855)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend, who is a fully-grown man, that making dinosaur noises in public is no longer acceptable. FML

#19932203
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18283) - you deserved it (6795)

On 07/13/2012 at 10:36am - misc - by shorty4 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML

#19931628
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13561) - you deserved it (32520)

On 07/13/2012 at 3:37am - love - by r4inb0wbrit3 (woman) - United States (Delaware)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: