taerts

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taerts

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 August 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8873
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About taerts : I like hearts and I like tarts, hence, taerts. I also like Simon Baker and Korean food. I like the world.

I'm pretty damn optimistic :)

taerts's page activity

Visits<b>lenovot61p</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 8:05am<b>dudeutookhrs</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 5:25am<b>Supaviper</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 4:02pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 11:14pm<b>unluckyorwhat</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 7:28pm<b>greamreaper</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:39pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 10:15am<b>cocainewhore</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 2:50am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:31pm<b>robertarose3789</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 5:27am<b>teotsi</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 3:20am<b>regenerate</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 7:42am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:16am<b>yoursucklives</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 2:01am<b>Kazenoe</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 8:08am<b>ohKylee</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 2:31am

taerts's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of taerts's badges

taerts's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my regulars approached me at work, arms extended for a hug. He's always in a bad mood, so I figured for once he wasn't grumpy and I enthusiastically hugged him. Turns out he was just stretching his arms. He told me I was crazy and pretty much ran out of my store. FML

by MLAA / 09/24/2012 at 8:52pm / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML

by foreveralone / 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

by disgusted / 09/24/2012 at 3:16pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML

by hannah / 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm / New Zealand (Marlborough) / Love

Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2012 at 2:34pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. I said aloud, "Dang, that actor is hot." My grandma pointed out he was a spitting image of my cousin. I realized she was right, and that I may as well be attracted to my own cousin. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2012 at 12:11pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got mad at my parents and threatened to run away. Things got so bad that I packed a bag and left, planning to hide in my front yard to teach them a lesson. It's been two hours, and I'm still standing behind a bush in front of my house while they make no effort to look for me. FML

by Rowan Curry / 09/15/2012 at 11:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2012 at 7:36am / United States (Delaware) / Health

Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast". That is not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML

by Leashaness / 09/15/2012 at 7:07am / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

by not the scalpel / 09/15/2012 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered how pathetically introverted I am when during a car ride with my family, I said, "I really like this song" and my parents gasped because they didn't realize I was in the back seat. And I'm their only child. FML

by mississippi123 / 08/06/2012 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while bussing at my restaurant job, I felt a cold, wet animal slither down my leg. I started shrieking loudly and dancing dementedly to get it off, and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare. Then I realized there was a hole in my pocket and some quarters had slid out down my leg. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 11:41am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 3:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I was swimming in my pool with my two sons. A few hours later while on Facebook, I saw that one of them had liked a photo with the caption, "Peeing in a pool, best feeling ever." FML

by poolboy / 07/23/2012 at 12:28am / Kids

Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML

by My_Name_Is_Zach / 07/22/2012 at 11:48pm / Miscellaneous