Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 August 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10282
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About taerts : I like hearts and I like tarts, hence, taerts. I also like Simon Baker and Korean food. I like the world.

I'm pretty damn optimistic :)

taerts's page activity

Visits<b>Fennex3</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 3:40pm<b>lenovot61p</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 8:05am<b>dudeutookhrs</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 5:25am<b>Supaviper</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 4:02pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 11:14pm<b>unluckyorwhat</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 7:28pm<b>greamreaper</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:39pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 10:15am<b>cocainewhore</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 2:50am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:31pm<b>robertarose3789</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 5:27am<b>teotsi</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 3:20am<b>regenerate</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 7:42am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:16am<b>yoursucklives</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 2:01am<b>Kazenoe</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 8:08am<b>ohKylee</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 2:31am

taerts's FML badges


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of taerts's badges

taerts's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML

by iblamethetories / 10/11/2012 at 1:49pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Money

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

by FarmerGirl / 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML

by yolo is for shitheads / 10/09/2012 at 12:07pm / United States / Work

Today, my boss fired me because of the way I laugh. Apparently it reminds him too much of his ex-wife's laugh. I'm a guy. FML

by Johnnogood / 10/09/2012 at 9:57am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML

by AFEmoWifey / 10/09/2012 at 6:21am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 4:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

by anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 1:53am / United States / Kids

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

by hnickell93 / 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2012 at 6:27pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML

by jack / 10/08/2012 at 2:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I asked my husband to watch our daughter while I ran a few errands. While he treated himself to a long nap, she decided our fish needed a bubble bath, and squeezed out an entire bottle of dish soap. I came home to bubbles all over the floor, five dead fish, and one sleeping husband. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2012 at 6:35pm / United States / Kids

Today, my roommate decided to turn off all appliances in the house to "save" electricity. This included the refrigerator. FML

by Jograd / 09/25/2012 at 1:13pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, after meeting my girlfriend's family and trying my hardest to impress them, she told me that they came up with a nickname for me. My new name is "Matt the Doormat." FML

by oreoblizzard619 / 09/25/2012 at 8:13am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waiting for my wife in a mall when some kids came and sat near me, wearing band t-shirts. I recognized some, as I was into The Smiths and Black Flag in my youth. I tried to strike up a music-fan chat with them. "Fuck off, grandad" and "Ew, pedo" is all I got in return. FML

by HenryRollinsForPresident / 09/25/2012 at 7:54am / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

by Fingkids / 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm / United States / Kids