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Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then proceeded to call out my own name by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17522) - you totally deserved it (66507)
On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14227) - you totally deserved it (222085)
On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - health - by dumptaker (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was eating dinner. At a restaurant. Alone. At a table set for twelve. My family had stayed home to watch the replays of the football and didn't think to tell me. REPLAYS. They saw the LIVE GAME last week. I left after about an hour, and people applauded as I walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77521) - you totally deserved it (2215)
On 04/08/2009 at 3:38am - misc - by Tomtom - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63638) - you totally deserved it (3527)
On 02/24/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by sammatthews2007 (man) - United States (North Carolina)
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