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t3chn0cr4t's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/22/2012 at 2:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by ihateveganism / 08/22/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
Today, I lost two terabytes' worth of photos to a friend's incompetence. He said he could save me some money and fix my slow computer for free. He ended up wiping the hard drive, and along with it, my photography portfolio from the last five years. FML
by ThisGirl / 08/20/2012 at 10:30pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/20/2012 at 8:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I climbed the tree in my backyard so I could cut off some stray branches. I ended up getting stuck, and instead of immediately getting help, my wife started laughing and recording me. The video is now circulating on Facebook, and my new nickname is "Hawkeye." FML
by spasticock / 08/19/2012 at 2:09pm / Portugal (Setubal) / Miscellaneous
by youre dumped shitforbrain / 08/19/2012 at 12:52pm / Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan) / Love
Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML
by Amberain / 08/16/2012 at 11:16am / United Kingdom (Halton) / Love
Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML
by shelby124 / 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I witnessed my girlfriend and best "friend" getting intimate. In a dim-witted attempt to cover up, my best friend proclaimed, "This isn't what it looks like!" I might have given him the benefit of the doubt, had he not still been inside my girlfriend at the time. FML
by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 12:04am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, my fiancée showed me her wedding plans. It will be themed on one of her video games, the best man will be dressed as an alien warlord, and the vows talk about how we'll beat the odds and be blessed by the "Goddess Kalahira". Apparently, I have no say in this. FML
by cestquoicebordel?? / 08/14/2012 at 6:50pm / France / Love
by Anonymous / 08/14/2012 at 1:16am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
by jannister / 08/13/2012 at 3:25pm / Germany (Thuringen) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, I went to the Eiffel Tower with my boyfriend. We’d been talking about getting married for a… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…