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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29496) - you deserved it (2909) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/02/2012 at 9:00am - love - by opinaise - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45411) - you deserved it (7535)
On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16400) - you deserved it (1338)
On 07/31/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by lotd - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6751) - you deserved it (17239)
On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I finally lost my virginity, all while in the passionate throes of an asthma attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18069) - you deserved it (1862)
On 07/28/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by feminista (woman) - Guatemala (Guatemala)
Today, my daughter proudly showed me her new tattoo sleeve, which is made up of an angry cupcake, hemp leaves, and a My Little Pony character. She's almost 30, still unemployed, and still lives in my home. I now have no hope of her ever becoming a productive member of society. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17994) - you deserved it (5168)
On 07/27/2012 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Ostfold)
Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4137) - you deserved it (25342)
On 07/27/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by ryanharp2 - United States (Arkansas)
Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19588) - you deserved it (1523)
On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16522) - you deserved it (2310)
On 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by LOTRfail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6692) - you deserved it (22355)
On 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by Infiltrator4444 - United States (Kentucky)
Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30158) - you deserved it (6962)
On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20338) - you deserved it (9448)
On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6306) - you deserved it (15849)
On 07/25/2012 at 2:14am - misc - by Rochelle (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15712) - you deserved it (3482)
On 07/24/2012 at 4:08pm - health - by *facefloor* (man) - United States
Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25806) - you deserved it (1785)
On 07/22/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by My_Name_Is_Zach -
Monday 20 May 2013
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