t3chn0cr4t

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t3chn0cr4t

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 July 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6334
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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t3chn0cr4t's page activity

Visits<b>edenxero</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 12:06am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 6:06pm<b>seleni</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 1:31pm<b>nina0917</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:23pm<b>rowanrules41</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 3:44pm<b>pumboc</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 6:06pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 9:18pm<b>ohjoy15</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 12:29am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 8:51pm<b>maz95</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 1:47pm<b>olpally</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 7:21pm<b>smr167</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 8:10am<b>9_11</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 3:42am<b>jeep575</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 10:52pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 8:43am

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t3chn0cr4t's favorite FMLs

Today, at a supermarket entrance, a seemingly drunk old lady said, "Sir?" as I passed by. I just ignored her and walked in. When I walked out with my groceries fifteen minutes later, several people were standing around her, calling for an ambulance. She'd passed out on the ground. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2012 at 1:26pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cotton swab shoved up my cock's piss-pipe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2012 at 11:09am / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML

by Cherrish it / 09/04/2012 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML

by anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 6:31pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

by WhyAppleWhy / 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

by thewhompingwillow / 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2012 at 8:49pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

by pride? what's that? :( / 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Intimacy

Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML

by what.....? / 08/31/2012 at 7:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML

by StillBetterThanTwilight / 08/28/2012 at 11:56am / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, I'm apparently so desperate for companionship that my body has subconsciously synced my period with the girl who works in the cubicle adjacent to mine. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2012 at 2:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, while I was at work, my wife sent me a few pictures of her in a new lingerie, to "spice up" my day. She didn't realize that I have iCloud turned on so I can share files with my colleagues. My boss and a dozen other employees received the same pictures. FML

by Michael D. / 08/25/2012 at 12:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

by Confused / 08/22/2012 at 12:33pm / Spain (Madrid) / Intimacy