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sythe511

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sythe511
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 July 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 713
  • Number of comments : 109
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About sythe511 : Hello! Yes, I took that picture myself at work. I love playing video games and working with electronics. I usually speak my mind, even if it means sparking controversy. Please don't be afraid to send me a message sometime!

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sythe511's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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sythe511's favorite FMLs

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11395) - you deserved it (28930)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML

#20165046
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18772) - you deserved it (2533)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by grocerystalker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43988) - you deserved it (5633)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML

#20139255
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26321) - you deserved it (4488)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML

#20138280
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17209) - you deserved it (4307)

On 10/29/2012 at 3:55am - misc - by Nice Guy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

#20133203
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26086) - you deserved it (2091)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML

Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML

#20107434
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9700) - you deserved it (30604)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by blabbermouth (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, my sister and I had a huge fight because I flushed the toilet while she was taking a bath. The faucet for the bath was not running, but she insisted that she felt the water in the tub turn "scalding hot." She won't listen when I try to explain to her that it doesn't work like that. FML

#19972921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20149) - you deserved it (1183)

On 07/22/2012 at 2:54am - misc - by Raaaaage - United States (California)

Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML

#19918441
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6322) - you deserved it (25341)

On 07/10/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by mustanggt (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm accused of vandalizing a cop car during a night of partying, and in so doing, violating my parole. While talking with my lawyer, who I spent all my savings on, I said he could hire better than his hideous secretary. Turns out she's his wife. I think I'm now more screwed than ever. FML

#19915477
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5140) - you deserved it (51433)

On 07/09/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by jillie minaj (woman) - United States

Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML

#19869373
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19544) - you deserved it (2716)

On 06/30/2012 at 1:08am - work - by John - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

#19749862
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31081) - you deserved it (5367)

On 06/07/2012 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

#19668387
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18729) - you deserved it (4098)

On 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

#19663287
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31903) - you deserved it (3783)

On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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