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sythe511

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sythe511

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 July 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1716
  • Number of comments : 123
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About sythe511 : Hello! Yes, I took that picture myself at work. I love playing video games and working with electronics. I usually speak my mind, even if it means sparking controversy. Please don't be afraid to send me a message sometime!

sythe511's page activity

Visits<b>Break_faith</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 2:21am<b>XXFMLXXQUEENXX</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 7:50am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 8:38pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 2:24pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 3:53pm<b>sorryheadphones</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:23pm<b>Clam_igger</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 3:11pm<b>ironik69</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:33am<b>wtfidkwtp</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:11am<b>lulinator</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 10:44pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 12:36am<b>Gmoney12</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 4:11am<b>TdotMaria</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 7:06pm<b>AFaye3964</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 4:42pm<b>schmuckjon79</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 8:50pm<b>Le_Rabbid</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:04am<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 2:43pm<b>meli1195</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 7:52pm

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100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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sythe511's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML

#21031072
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41202) - you deserved it (5727)

On 01/17/2014 at 6:28pm - health - by SqueakingRetard (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56669) - you deserved it (5695)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

#21022453
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57551) - you deserved it (6957)

On 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

#21018030
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51528) - you deserved it (6869)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:45pm - health - by stillhurting (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML

#21011655
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35790) - you deserved it (20486)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

#21009159
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50511) - you deserved it (26245)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I found out that my mom isn't coming to see me for Christmas. Instead she'll be spending it in jail for a DUI and battery. Thank you to my cocklick of an aunt for taking a recovering alcoholic to a bar and pressuring her into relapse. FML

#21003791
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44179) - you deserved it (2891)

On 12/24/2013 at 3:48pm - misc - by jhulich (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I diagnosed a patient with a spastic colon. For some reason, the term "spastic colon" has always amused me, and I burst into uncontrollable laughter as I said it. By the time I managed to stop laughing, my eyes were watering and my patient was visibly angry. FML

#21002747
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20942) - you deserved it (43446)

On 12/23/2013 at 6:11pm - work - by dr immature (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

#21001530
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38852) - you deserved it (3942)

On 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm - kids - by bastard (woman) - United States

Today, I went skiing with a girl I like. On the lift I asked her out. She said no. Halfway up the lift stopped. We were stuck up there for nearly an hour. FML

#20993100
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48111) - you deserved it (5248)

On 12/15/2013 at 3:38am - love - by snowbum69 - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46607) - you deserved it (5135)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

#20981063
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45012) - you deserved it (5577)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to my first job interview in months. Just minutes in, a sudden huge, uncontrollable sneeze overcame me. A wad of snot flew out onto my shirt, which I didn't even notice until the visibly disgusted interviewer pointed it out. FML

#20974690
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37664) - you deserved it (3397)

On 11/29/2013 at 1:08pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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