About sythe511 : Hello! Yes, I took that picture myself at work. I love playing video games and working with electronics. I usually speak my mind, even if it means sparking controversy. Please don't be afraid to send me a message sometime!
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sythe511's favorite FMLs
Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML
by WolfAvenge / 05/21/2015 at 4:01am / United States (Arizona) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/20/2015 at 10:43am / United Kingdom (Stockport) / Miscellaneous
by -_- / 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML
by Darryl / 05/12/2015 at 8:53am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML
by Basically_ / 05/11/2015 at 5:24pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by gassygirlfriend / 05/10/2015 at 4:40am / United States (Idaho) / Love
Today, my drunken mother shouted to me at the top of her lungs, "All men are fucking assholes, and your new husband is no different!" during our wedding reception. All he did was ask her how she liked the salmon. FML
by How's the salmon? / 05/10/2015 at 2:00am / United States / Miscellaneous
by 420curse / 05/05/2015 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Sure, but not yet." As we've been together for five years, I was a bit confused, but she cleared that up with, "Not until your dad has died, I don't want him to ruin my wedding with a bad toast." FML
by inheritance / 05/05/2015 at 10:44am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/03/2015 at 3:42am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML
by Anonymous / 05/03/2015 at 1:58am / Finland / Work
Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML
by a critically injured shitehawk / 04/25/2015 at 6:34am / United Kingdom (York) / Love
Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm / United States / Money
Today, my boss' incompetent, lazy son got another raise. He only started working here five months ago. Since then he's been promoted twice and given a Bentley as a company car. All this while company profits are in the shitter and the rest of us are facing a wave of layoffs. FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2015 at 1:39pm / Qatar (Ad Dawhah) / Work
Today, I found out that, given the correct velocity, a used condom can actually fly through a tiny window and slap you on the leg. I also found out that when you go to the window to yell at the perpetrator, they might have more ammunition. FML
by Attacksloth / 04/23/2015 at 6:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…