About sythe511 : Hello! Yes, I took that picture myself at work. I love playing video games and working with electronics. I usually speak my mind, even if it means sparking controversy. Please don't be afraid to send me a message sometime!
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sythe511's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to visit my mother after many years. Her hoarding has gotten so bad that now the house is entirely filled with junk and garbage, and she is camping out in the jungle of a backyard, cooking on a cauldron over a fire and shitting in the compost pile, with no working heat or water. FML
by childofcrazy / 06/25/2015 at 4:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, after constant avoidance, I saw the man who slept with my mother and caused my parents to get divorced. I desperately wanted to punch him in the face, but instead I had to smile and shake his hand as he gave me my diploma. FML
by Anonymous / 06/24/2015 at 1:41pm / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML
by hfs palm / 06/21/2015 at 5:37pm / United States / Kids
Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML
by Anonymous / 06/17/2015 at 10:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, my wife paid a man with a fake crystal and an even faker accent to investigate the creakiness of our apartment complex floors. $300 later, she told me he'd found a "sinkhole of chi energy" and that the building may collapse if we don't pay him to disperse it. I want a divorce. FML
by Anonymous / 06/14/2015 at 11:37am / Croatia (Grad Zagreb) / Miscellaneous
by thanks for the $5 gift voucher / 06/13/2015 at 12:34pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, my neighbor's son siphoned the fuel out of my lawn mower and put it in his car. What he didn't realize is that the fuel mixture I use in my lawn mower would ruin his car engine. His dad says it's my fault and actually insists I should pay his pissant son's repair bill. FML
by Anonymous / 06/13/2015 at 8:42am / United States (Maryland) / Money
by cockblockedbyFB / 06/06/2015 at 9:01am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML
by officeditz / 06/03/2015 at 9:59pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by she has dumbcuntitis / 06/03/2015 at 2:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/03/2015 at 1:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Jrex89 / 06/02/2015 at 5:02pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/02/2015 at 11:23am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my girlfriend randomly confessed to basically having a "phobia" of monogamy. But don't worry, she defensively assured me she's never ever cheated on me, even though I never said she had, so I guess that's okay then. FML
by well then / 05/30/2015 at 1:40am / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML
by Kurda / 05/22/2015 at 10:26pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the… Today, I had my first kiss with this guy that I really liked. We started making out and he stopped… Today, I got a call from my local hospital's emergency room, stating my wife was in labour. My wife…