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Offline (the 03/27/2016 at 10:20pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 July 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7531
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About sythe511 : Hello! Yes, I took that picture myself at work. I love playing video games and working with electronics. I usually speak my mind, even if it means sparking controversy. Please don't be afraid to send me a message sometime!

sythe511's page activity

Visits<b>sammygene24</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 11:41pm<b>hoosiergirl94</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 11:17am<b>anna31899</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 2:26pm<b>allykaymorris</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 7:30pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 6:05pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 1:06pm<b>djdj900</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 2:54pm<b>fraankiexx</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 2:05am<b>MartinLI</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 1:36am<b>Phylo</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 11:15pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 11:09pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 10:02pm<b>Idekanymore123</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 9:20pm<b>IfItWasntForYou</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 7:35am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 6:37pm<b>kayla_everson</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 1:24pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 11:02pm<b>TrixZ</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:25am

Fucked!<b>sammygene24</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 5:41am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 12:05am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 7:06pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 5:09am<b>kayla_everson</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 7:24pm<b>e_is_for_eli</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 3:17am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 4:34am<b>Ajf92002</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:50pm

sythe511's FML badges

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sythe511's favorite FMLs

Today, my roommates decided to do some experimental baking. To be supportive, I tried one of their creations. I've been alternating between vomiting and diarrhea for the past hour. My jaw is sore from vomiting, and I can barely muster the energy to flush between "switching sides" anymore. FML

by sendhelp / 08/03/2015 at 1:31am / United States (Utah) / Health

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2015 at 8:08pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

by Marika / 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

by anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 9:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 1:05am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 12:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was Skyping with my girlfriend. I was so incredibly tired and just wanted to go to bed, but she just kept talking and wouldn't let me go. I ended up blurting "Your mom's a cunt." just to start a fight and have an excuse to hang up on her. I feel like an asshole. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2015 at 8:54pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, my grandpa saw one of the paintings in the guest room at my house. "What the fuck?" he snorted, then said whoever painted it should "stick to their damn day job". I painted it. FML

by is cum a fruit or a vegetable? / 07/17/2015 at 1:50pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend how my mom died when I was 11 after crashing her car into a tree at night. He muttered "Women drivers." FML

Today, when I visited my daughter's apartment that she moved into about 3 months ago, I found out that she buys new underwear every time she runs out instead of washing her dirty ones. Her dirty ones have their own special hamper. FML

by grossed out mom / 07/08/2015 at 9:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2015 at 4:51pm / United States / Kids

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2015 at 3:29pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love

Today, my dad texted me, saying "My dicks so hard 4 u". I'm desperately hoping he meant to send that to his girlfriend instead. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2015 at 2:56pm / Intimacy

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" / 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Work