About sythe511 : Hello! Yes, I took that picture myself at work. I love playing video games and working with electronics. I usually speak my mind, even if it means sparking controversy. Please don't be afraid to send me a message sometime!
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sythe511's favorite FMLs
Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
by meunluckycharms / 09/14/2015 at 3:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I dropped my toothbrush. Because I have the spatial awareness of a mentally-retarded gnat, I hit my head against the sink as I bent down to get it. Then I did the same on the way back up, almost KO'ing myself. My boyfriend saw the whole thing and nearly pissed himself laughing. FML
by dammit / 09/12/2015 at 4:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
Today, while blissfully unaware that it was the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, I was making paper airplanes during my free period in school. Next thing I know, I was reported for, "making jokes about the 9/11 attacks." FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2015 at 6:51am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML
by notwhatithought / 08/21/2015 at 3:43pm / Germany (Bayern) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/21/2015 at 4:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/21/2015 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Animals
by sstahpp / 08/20/2015 at 5:24pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister recorded the sound of me having intense diarrhea, retching at the stench, and eventually breaking down in tears. I only found out when I saw she'd posted it online, with the caption "lol #gaytard #sorrynotsorry". I've never been called a pussy by so many people before. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2015 at 8:14am / United States (California) / Health
Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML
by BarhydtBran / 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Work
by YES I MEAN *EX* GIRLFRIEND / 08/17/2015 at 4:14pm / Canada / Intimacy
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with "Hah, just kidding. You're fuckin' BORING!" FML
by ThroatSlasher / 08/17/2015 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire) / Love
Today, I had to serve an incredibly rude and irrationally angry customer, but I managed to keep my cool. When he finally went to leave with his purchase, I wished him a good day. He whirled around and yelled "I'll have whatever the fuck kind of day I want, bitch!" FML
by Anonymous / 08/08/2015 at 6:23pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
by Anonymous / 08/08/2015 at 1:18am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/08/2015 at 12:02am / United States (Oregon) / Money
by Anonymous / 08/03/2015 at 11:29am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…