Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sythe511

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

sythe511

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 July 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5752
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About sythe511 : Hello! Yes, I took that picture myself at work. I love playing video games and working with electronics. I usually speak my mind, even if it means sparking controversy. Please don't be afraid to send me a message sometime!

sythe511's page activity

Visits<b>anna31899</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 2:26pm<b>allykaymorris</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 7:30pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 6:05pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 1:06pm<b>djdj900</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 2:54pm<b>Greatsoulme</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 6:11am<b>fraankiexx</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 2:05am<b>MartinLI</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 1:36am<b>Phylo</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 11:15pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 11:09pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 10:02pm<b>Idekanymore123</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 9:20pm<b>IfItWasntForYou</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 7:35am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 6:37pm<b>kayla_everson</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 1:24pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 11:02pm<b>TrixZ</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:25am<b>e_is_for_eli</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 9:17pm

Fucked!<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 12:05am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 7:06pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 5:09am<b>kayla_everson</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 7:24pm<b>e_is_for_eli</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 3:17am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 4:34am<b>Ajf92002</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:50pm

sythe511's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of sythe511's badges

sythe511's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML

#21474532
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24031) - you deserved it (2751)

On 09/30/2015 at 9:13am - misc - by Nick Pat (man) -

Today, I was at a get-together at a friend's house. Half an hour in, it became clear that someone had farted, and we all took turns asking who it was. When someone asked me, my girlfriend chimed in with, "Oh please, if it was him, you'd all be dead". FML

#21473642
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23463) - you deserved it (4416)

On 09/28/2015 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML

#21472645
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24831) - you deserved it (1634)

On 09/25/2015 at 5:04pm - misc - by itwaswarm - United States (New York)

Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML

#21472629
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24497) - you deserved it (2426)

On 09/25/2015 at 3:56pm - love - by Thai that on for size (woman) - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to my wife's new medicated handcream after I came down with a nasty, itchy rash on my chest, stomach, cock, and balls. FML

#21472609
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24245) - you deserved it (2733)

On 09/25/2015 at 2:45pm - intimacy - by Enanimus (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML

#21471789
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23116) - you deserved it (1567)

On 09/23/2015 at 9:24am - misc - by Colin Jr. (man) - United States

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

#21470966
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29273) - you deserved it (2981)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while enjoying a truly epic move from my wife in the hotel shower, I managed to accidentally pull the "grab bar" from the wall and clock her in the side of the head. Three stitches at the Urgent Care later, she's explaining to the entire waiting room how it happened. FML

#21470523
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24547) - you deserved it (3141)

On 09/20/2015 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was confiding in my grandma about how lonely I am and how everything in my life seems to be falling apart. While I was in mid-sentence, she rolled her eyes and made a show of removing her hearing aid. FML

#21470109
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21422) - you deserved it (3010)

On 09/19/2015 at 1:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whiskey, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML

#21469567
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35358) - you deserved it (2448)

On 09/17/2015 at 3:48pm - kids - by Angus (man) - France

Today, my teacher plugged the speakers into the wrong input on his computer, and said, "Oops, wrong hole", to which one of the students who often makes the same mistake said, "Story of my life". I understood it differently and started laughing. It would have been fine if the teacher wasn't her father. FML

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML

#21468418
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25876) - you deserved it (1691)

On 09/14/2015 at 3:54pm - love - by meunluckycharms - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dropped my toothbrush. Because I have the spatial awareness of a mentally-retarded gnat, I hit my head against the sink as I bent down to get it. Then I did the same on the way back up, almost KO'ing myself. My boyfriend saw the whole thing and nearly pissed himself laughing. FML

#21467535
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23895) - you deserved it (4495)

On 09/12/2015 at 4:11am - health - by dammit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while blissfully unaware that it was the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, I was making paper airplanes during my free period in school. Next thing I know, I was reported for, "making jokes about the 9/11 attacks." FML

#21467190
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25715) - you deserved it (8368)

On 09/11/2015 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

#21458908
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10587) - you deserved it (31332)

On 08/21/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by notwhatithought (woman) - Germany (Bayern)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: