Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sythe511

Offline (yesterday at 5:19pm) | Search for a member

sythe511

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 July 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4622
  • Number of comments : 128
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About sythe511 : Hello! Yes, I took that picture myself at work. I love playing video games and working with electronics. I usually speak my mind, even if it means sparking controversy. Please don't be afraid to send me a message sometime!

sythe511's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 11:02pm<b>TrixZ</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:25am<b>e_is_for_eli</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 9:17pm<b>BlondeSlasher</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 4:47am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 8:45am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:59pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 2:01am<b>sprigs_</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 1:41am<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:37pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 7:52pm<b>Ajf92002</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 4:50pm<b>supersavvy</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 8:51pm<b>IndicaPaincakes</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 4:45pm<b>Mahkoi</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 11:13am<b>_Marco_Polo_</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:53am<b>emxy92</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 7:46am<b>csmiles</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:03am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 2:37am

Fucked!<b>e_is_for_eli</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 3:17am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 4:34am<b>Ajf92002</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:50pm

sythe511's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of sythe511's badges

sythe511's favorite FMLs

Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML

#21369082
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51) - you deserved it (207)

On 03/06/2015 at 1:18am - health - by UncleMonkey (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43342) - you deserved it (19622)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML

#21368886
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35857) - you deserved it (2416)

On 03/05/2015 at 8:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML

#21368848
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33776) - you deserved it (7172)

On 03/05/2015 at 7:25pm - misc - by Josh - United States (Missouri)

Today, during a meal out with my team and bosses, I wasn't drinking. The waiter complained, "If you're not ordering alcohol, how am I supposed to take advantage of you later?" I'm not sure what's worse, the rapey pre-dinner joke or the awkward silence as my colleagues looked on. FML

Today, it's been almost two months that I've been taking hair, skin and nails vitamins. The only thing growing noticeably longer, faster, stronger, and healthier are my pubes. I've never sheared a sheep before, but I imagine the maintenance I just did was comparable. FML

#21368822
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26285) - you deserved it (16)

On 03/05/2015 at 6:34pm - health - by bushwhacker (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, during a family game of "Cards Against Humanity," I had to explain to my mom what queefing is. FML

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

#21366785
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24913) - you deserved it (12136)

On 03/02/2015 at 7:48pm - misc - by Microtron - United States (Ohio)

Today, my drunken mom began to frantically scream "YEAH" "WOO HOO" and "ALRIGHT" at some kindergarteners that were singing Amazing Grace in honor of a restaurant owner who had recently died. FML

#21365671
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30570) - you deserved it (2139)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by RadioactiveKush - United States (Georgia)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18787) - you deserved it (55607)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after struggling for over a year with it, and now having it medically confirmed, I told my step-dad about my depression. He gave me a disgusted look and scoffed, "Toughen up, cunt." FML

#21364994
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33361) - you deserved it (3884)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:22am - health - by fine (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML

#21357563
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15415) - you deserved it (35211)

On 02/16/2015 at 8:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling a little down, so I tried to console her. She said she just needed space and I respected that. Then an hour later she was fine, so I asked how she did it. She replied that she talked to her ex for a whole hour. This is a common procedure. FML

#21353256
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36163) - you deserved it (4368)

On 02/10/2015 at 7:59am - love - by krh14 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML

#21350891
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37817) - you deserved it (2883)

On 02/06/2015 at 11:56am - love - by that guy - United States (California)

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

#21349904
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39687) - you deserved it (5044)

On 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by MIB thingy please... (woman) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: