swiwi

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swiwi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 January 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4589
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About swiwi : :]

swiwi's page activity

Visits<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 10:29am<b>DKH7</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 7:58pm<b>mesutozil11</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:05pm<b>ToxicCandyTree</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 2:48pm<b>Jbow1221</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 1:22pm<b>tomc6748</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 1:17am<b>goalie01</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 5:39am<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 7:38am<b>bssnbby6</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 9:12pm<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 9:27pm<b>tacojauns</b> - the 02/21/2013 at 2:47pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 7:39pm<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 01/29/2013 at 6:14am<b>Love_sosa</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 3:15am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 10:40pm<b>GermanOnslaught</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 1:19pm<b>milliman22</b> - the 11/11/2012 at 7:29am<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/04/2012 at 12:51am

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swiwi's favorite FMLs

Today, I called my boyfriend to have a shoulder to cry on because my grandpa died. As soon as I told him, he started crying and telling me how much he missed his grandmother, who died six years ago. I spent the majority of the phone call listening to him wail. FML

by perfectmoment / 11/29/2009 at 7:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my dog to the vet because he hadn't eaten his food in three days, was drinking a lot of water, and was peeing a lot (all signs of antifreeze poisoning). I spent $200 at the vet to tell me that my dog is fine and just didn't like his current food. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2009 at 11:14am / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML

by PiaNO / 11/10/2009 at 4:41pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML

by Poowee / 09/18/2009 at 12:29am / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

by mandy / 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spotted my neighbour's cat sitting on their front garden. I bent over and began walking towards it with my hand out saying, "Hello pussycat". I was only a few feet away when I realised I was talking to a white bag of sand. I turned to see my family in hysterics. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2009 at 7:40am / United Kingdom (Reading) / Animals

Today, I discovered that the medicated eye drops I have been taking to fight a mild eye infection show up under black lights when I walked into a party and the whole left side of my face was glowing. FML

by SummerGirl0009 / 08/23/2009 at 6:24pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I got a new stainless steel microwave. When we took it out of the package we noticed it was blue and got angry. We were about to return it, but we called in our 12 year old daughter to see what she thought of the microwave. She then took off the blue protective plastic. FML

by BlueBaby123 / 07/25/2009 at 7:30am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I had a serious allergic reaction to the food I ate at a Chinese restaurant that supposedly didn't contain peanuts. According to my waitress, peanut oil "doesn't count". FML

by phlyingphuck / 07/19/2009 at 11:12am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out on a first date with a cute guy. Turns out we won't be going on a date again because I didn't know the difference between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek." FML

by not4geeks / 05/15/2009 at 5:17pm / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML

by chelserusera / 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I had a really important job interview, and as i was about to leave for it my mom told me to remember to make eye contact. As I was walking in, it was the only thing I could think about, so looking directly at him my foot hits a lip in the floor and my head slams into his desk. FML

by pdnne / 05/12/2009 at 1:48am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

by Familyskank / 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy