swiwi

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swiwi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 January 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4581
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About swiwi : :]

swiwi's page activity

Visits<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 10:29am<b>DKH7</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 7:58pm<b>mesutozil11</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:05pm<b>ToxicCandyTree</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 2:48pm<b>Jbow1221</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 1:22pm<b>tomc6748</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 1:17am<b>goalie01</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 5:39am<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 7:38am<b>bssnbby6</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 9:12pm<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 9:27pm<b>tacojauns</b> - the 02/21/2013 at 2:47pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 7:39pm<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 01/29/2013 at 6:14am<b>Love_sosa</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 3:15am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 10:40pm<b>GermanOnslaught</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 1:19pm<b>milliman22</b> - the 11/11/2012 at 7:29am<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/04/2012 at 12:51am

swiwi's FML badges

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You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of swiwi's badges

swiwi's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

by rastafarimon / 04/17/2011 at 1:56am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, while watching Animal Planet, I realised my boyfriend uses the Dog Whisperer techniques on me. FML

by notagoodsign / 02/28/2011 at 5:55am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love

Today, I put up an ad on Craig's List to find a best friend. I don't know what's more pathetic: looking for a best friend online, or the ad being removed almost instantly. FML

by Username / 02/13/2011 at 4:06pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML

by Anonymous / 01/20/2011 at 5:55am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy

Today, I'm getting over strep throat. The antibiotics they gave me make me have diarrhea unless I eat yogurt in between each pill. That wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't lactose-intolerant. Yogurt gives me really bad gas. So I have to choose between painful gas or diarrhea. FML

by anon7113 / 01/08/2011 at 5:16am / United States (Washington) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2010 at 5:55am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Animals

Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML

by Myzyri / 06/08/2010 at 3:11am / United States (Illinois) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML

by Alicia / 01/21/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

by Concussed / 01/17/2010 at 1:22am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I was at the movie theatre. I went to the bathroom, and was about to wipe my butt when I realized that where the toilet-paper dispenser should have been, there was a large hole. The woman in the next stall waved. FML

by pass_the_tp / 01/12/2010 at 9:57pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

by Hugh_Jankles / 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

by Soresack / 01/04/2010 at 8:34am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, my family and I were discussing my birthday in a couple weeks. As they asked what I wanted, I told them it was up to them. So my mother suggested that she'll get me electrolysis so I wouldn't have to worry about my mustache in college. FML

by sexyyy / 12/07/2009 at 2:18pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Love