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swiwi

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swiwi

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1919
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About swiwi : :]

swiwi's page activity

Visits<b>DKH7</b> - 19 hours ago<b>mesutozil11</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:05pm<b>ToxicCandyTree</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 2:48pm<b>Jbow1221</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 1:22pm<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 10:41pm<b>tomc6748</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 1:17am<b>goalie01</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 5:39am<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 7:38am<b>bssnbby6</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 9:12pm<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 9:27pm<b>tacojauns</b> - the 02/21/2013 at 2:47pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 7:39pm<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 01/29/2013 at 6:14am<b>Love_sosa</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 3:15am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 10:40pm<b>GermanOnslaught</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 1:19pm<b>milliman22</b> - the 11/11/2012 at 7:29am<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/04/2012 at 12:51am

swiwi's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of swiwi's badges

swiwi's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and her mom dropped me off at home. I told my girlfriend that I love her. She said nothing, then her mom blurted out, "I love you too!" and drove away. FML

#15945693
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31761) - you deserved it (5031)

On 04/27/2011 at 4:19am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

#15817034
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42390) - you deserved it (8255)

On 04/17/2011 at 1:56am - intimacy - by rastafarimon (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while watching Animal Planet, I realised my boyfriend uses the Dog Whisperer techniques on me. FML

#15149183
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29530) - you deserved it (8600)

On 02/28/2011 at 5:55am - love - by notagoodsign (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I put up an ad on Craig's List to find a best friend. I don't know what's more pathetic: looking for a best friend online, or the ad being removed almost instantly. FML

#14960635
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11084) - you deserved it (26601)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:06pm - misc - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML

#14647834
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9664) - you deserved it (32480)

On 01/20/2011 at 5:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40119) - you deserved it (26552) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I'm getting over strep throat. The antibiotics they gave me make me have diarrhea unless I eat yogurt in between each pill. That wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't lactose-intolerant. Yogurt gives me really bad gas. So I have to choose between painful gas or diarrhea. FML

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

#13762266
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31135) - you deserved it (5284)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML

#11105211
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13587) - you deserved it (44686)

On 06/10/2010 at 3:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML

#7467261
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26280) - you deserved it (5435)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Alicia (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

#7391699
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46135) - you deserved it (5400)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at the movie theatre. I went to the bathroom, and was about to wipe my butt when I realized that where the toilet-paper dispenser should have been, there was a large hole. The woman in the next stall waved. FML

#7309178
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26648) - you deserved it (4871)

On 01/12/2010 at 9:57pm - misc - by pass_the_tp (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25396) - you deserved it (32411)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

#7143279
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36495) - you deserved it (2719)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)



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