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swiwi

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2332
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About swiwi : :]

swiwi's page activity

Visits<b>hardesty</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 8:50pm<b>DKH7</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 7:58pm<b>mesutozil11</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:05pm<b>ToxicCandyTree</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 2:48pm<b>Jbow1221</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 1:22pm<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 10:41pm<b>tomc6748</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 1:17am<b>goalie01</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 5:39am<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 7:38am<b>bssnbby6</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 9:12pm<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 9:27pm<b>tacojauns</b> - the 02/21/2013 at 2:47pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 7:39pm<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 01/29/2013 at 6:14am<b>Love_sosa</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 3:15am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 10:40pm<b>GermanOnslaught</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 1:19pm<b>milliman22</b> - the 11/11/2012 at 7:29am

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swiwi's favorite FMLs

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21595) - you deserved it (9656)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48621) - you deserved it (8171)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML

#18936748
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38413) - you deserved it (2957)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm - misc - by Come on - United States

Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML

#18932795
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21802) - you deserved it (2122)

On 01/28/2012 at 10:46am - animals - by tannarox - United States (California)

Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML

#18929275
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6851) - you deserved it (51483)

On 01/27/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by smith (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

#18926603
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30444) - you deserved it (3480)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML

#18920760
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20892) - you deserved it (6172)

On 01/26/2012 at 10:22pm - misc - by ParkerRommel (man) - United States

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

#18913819
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27245) - you deserved it (3797)

On 01/26/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by RequilaRainbow - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33382) - you deserved it (3572)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

#18891781
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41280) - you deserved it (3379)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States

Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML

#18876048
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38137) - you deserved it (2281)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38788) - you deserved it (6180)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML

#18838483
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21917) - you deserved it (4672)

On 01/17/2012 at 8:39pm - work - by Sheliton (woman) - United States

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

#18837069
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25509) - you deserved it (7937)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by anon. (woman) - United States

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

#18812557
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33104) - you deserved it (3759)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)



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