Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

swiwi

Search for a member

swiwi

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1760
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About swiwi : :]

swiwi's page activity

Visits<b>mesutozil11</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:05pm<b>DKH7</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 7:00pm<b>ToxicCandyTree</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 2:48pm<b>Jbow1221</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 1:22pm<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 10:41pm<b>tomc6748</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 1:17am<b>goalie01</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 5:39am<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 7:38am<b>bssnbby6</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 9:12pm<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 9:27pm<b>tacojauns</b> - the 02/21/2013 at 2:47pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 7:39pm<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 01/29/2013 at 6:14am<b>Love_sosa</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 3:15am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 10:40pm<b>GermanOnslaught</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 1:19pm<b>milliman22</b> - the 11/11/2012 at 7:29am<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/04/2012 at 12:51am

swiwi's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of swiwi's badges

swiwi's favorite FMLs

Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML

#19286997
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9137) - you deserved it (19832)

On 03/16/2012 at 2:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I panicked when I saw a spider on my shoulder from the corner of my eye. It was a birthmark. The same one that has been there for the last 23 years. FML

#19286969
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8348) - you deserved it (19052)

On 03/16/2012 at 1:54am - misc - by lct722 - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I gave in and let my friend give me a makeover. She couldn't find my eyelash curler, but decided that if she used scissors lightly, it would work just the same. Needless to say, it did not work. FML

#19286759
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9883) - you deserved it (26107)

On 03/16/2012 at 1:11am - misc - by neveragain - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25512) - you deserved it (6696)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

#19283083
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21464) - you deserved it (5680) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2012 at 3:28pm - health - by Sica - France

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

#19282725
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7680) - you deserved it (32688)

On 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by StinkyandStupid - United States

 Today, I decided to finally try out the veggie slicer I bought a few months ago to make healthy homemade potato chips. Along with the sliced potatoes, I am now missing about a quarter inch chunk of skin from the side of my hand and quite a bit of blood. At least the chips were good. FML

#19281452
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15673) - you deserved it (11363)

On 03/15/2012 at 3:53am - health - by missgayle319 - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML

#19281445
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31207) - you deserved it (2012)

On 03/15/2012 at 3:49am - misc - by Bebefer - United States (California)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

#19279551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33760) - you deserved it (2441)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by CallaC (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32829) - you deserved it (5845)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML

#19277499
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8750) - you deserved it (52772)

On 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

#19277345
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10138) - you deserved it (31459)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28817) - you deserved it (18062)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

#19275580
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25543) - you deserved it (12551)

On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML

#19271086
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24273) - you deserved it (3562)

On 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm - health - by PixieWrists - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: