Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

switchgurl20

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

switchgurl20

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 December 1986 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1180
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About switchgurl20 : Weird, quirky.
Im from trinidad in the caribbean. Lifes good, good to be content.
I say stupid stuff without thinking sometimes.
I like grunge rock like nirvana
Punk rock like green day, sum 41, puddle of mudd
Alternative rock like avril lavigne, maroon 5- adam is hot!, switchfoot, foo fighters
Some christian rock like stellar kart, delirious.

If ya feel the need, hit me up with some messages.

switchgurl20's page activity

Visits<b>wvni</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:24am<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 7:38pm<b>yuubi</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 2:15pm<b>Conn3ct</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 1:23am<b>BU2012</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 11:05am<b>JukeMasterFlex</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 4:47am<b>mangoboy1</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 12:28pm<b>Snugmybaby95</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 11:03pm<b>dancinwookie</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 7:29pm<b>jimbobpete</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 11:02am<b>fmlbear324</b> - the 02/21/2013 at 6:10pm<b>ignoremeimweird</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 4:59pm<b>dami_khan</b> - the 10/07/2012 at 11:18am<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 02/23/2012 at 10:32pm<b>MarineMech2391</b> - the 08/21/2011 at 8:46pm<b>rallets</b> - the 07/14/2011 at 7:12pm<b>iluvboobies</b> - the 07/13/2011 at 7:49pm<b>CrackAttack</b> - the 07/13/2011 at 7:24pm

switchgurl20's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of switchgurl20's badges

switchgurl20's favorite FMLs

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24051) - you deserved it (2795)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, the acne on one side of my face has flared up at the corners of my mouth, making me look just like The Joker. FML

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28506) - you deserved it (4392)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14809) - you deserved it (38490)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

#20011677
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6437) - you deserved it (46836)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML

#20010632
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22786) - you deserved it (3411)

On 08/09/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML

#20008924
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24885) - you deserved it (2410)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

#20008307
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27901) - you deserved it (5779)

On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML

#20000913
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16929) - you deserved it (1670)

On 08/03/2012 at 7:50pm - misc - by yeah okay then (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35305) - you deserved it (3094)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10738) - you deserved it (36872)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33464) - you deserved it (4198)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

#19853793
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7757) - you deserved it (33613)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by deli Shoppe - United States (California)

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet.  A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

#19609899
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8642) - you deserved it (47887)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

#19608158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22995) - you deserved it (6023)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by rongo12 (man) -



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: