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swimmer3141

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swimmer3141

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 January 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1895
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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swimmer3141's page activity

Visits<b>drpepper2019</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 2:47pm<b>shane_109</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 3:36pm<b>Amelia_Jones237</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 5:18am<b>cameron194</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 5:50am<b>wannabesinger</b> - the 09/14/2012 at 11:55pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:19pm<b>jren207</b> - the 08/06/2011 at 10:49am<b>raphanne</b> - the 08/05/2011 at 11:16pm<b>Gigglebear</b> - the 08/05/2011 at 7:32pm<b>sourgirl101</b> - the 07/17/2011 at 3:18pm

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swimmer3141's favorite FMLs

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30740) - you deserved it (6384)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML

#17029959
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30079) - you deserved it (2282)

On 07/08/2011 at 3:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML

#17012885
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33187) - you deserved it (5480)

On 07/07/2011 at 10:40am - love - by Junktown (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
710 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18671) - you deserved it (95078)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States

Today, I shaved my beard off. Turns out the skin under my beard is six shades lighter than the rest of my face. I look completely ridiculous. FML

#17000180
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38138) - you deserved it (12930)

On 07/06/2011 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML

#16945838
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10130) - you deserved it (42669)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by camzzz - United States (Washington)

Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML

#16867532
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13955) - you deserved it (46565)

On 06/26/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

#16774144
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37182) - you deserved it (11873)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:46am - love - by holdengurl18 - China

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML

#16574286
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29975) - you deserved it (5410)

On 06/09/2011 at 3:20am - animals - by CatLady (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

#16569461
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44613) - you deserved it (4604)

On 06/08/2011 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML

#16561931
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17847) - you deserved it (39053)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:47pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out my mom has notebooks with lists of everything she has bought for me ever since I was born. Apparently she is going to make me pay her back for all the money she spent on me once I'm an adult. FML

#16556165
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50239) - you deserved it (3445)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML

#16524791
576 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97042) - you deserved it (10737)

On 06/06/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by KillMeNow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55589) - you deserved it (4266)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while at work, a rather large woman came in and ordered a cheeseburger. When asking if she would like to supersize it, she took her purse, smacked me, and told me she wasn't fat, and how rude I was for calling her supersized. I was just doing my job. FML

#16430748
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39894) - you deserved it (4274)

On 05/31/2011 at 2:49am - work - by Me - United States (Arizona)



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