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swimmer3141

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swimmer3141

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 January 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1723
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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swimmer3141's page activity

Visits<b>drpepper2019</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 2:47pm<b>shane_109</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 3:36pm<b>Amelia_Jones237</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 5:18am<b>cameron194</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 5:50am<b>wannabesinger</b> - the 09/14/2012 at 11:55pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:19pm<b>jren207</b> - the 08/06/2011 at 10:49am<b>raphanne</b> - the 08/05/2011 at 11:16pm<b>Gigglebear</b> - the 08/05/2011 at 7:32pm<b>sourgirl101</b> - the 07/17/2011 at 3:18pm

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swimmer3141's favorite FMLs

Today, my 14-year-old son was terrified of going into the water near our house, because he was scared of having his leg bitten off by a shark. We live by a lake. I tried explaining why it couldn't happen, but he just cowered behind a beach towel. FML

#17463558
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24805) - you deserved it (4241)

On 08/13/2011 at 9:17pm - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I pulled a muscle. Not in any kind of sport or exercise, but while reaching for my computer mouse. FML

#17451682
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12177) - you deserved it (28339)

On 08/12/2011 at 4:46pm - health - by ThisGuy97 - United States

Today, I was on the bus when a really cute guy came on. The only seat left was the one next to me, so I smiled and waited for him to sit down. He looked at the seat, looked at me, and opted to stand until his stop. FML

#17451356
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28788) - you deserved it (4284)

On 08/12/2011 at 4:10pm - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML

#17448755
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30810) - you deserved it (2676)

On 08/12/2011 at 9:14am - kids - by LuckySperm (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

#17447833
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42737) - you deserved it (6317)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)

Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML

#17443433
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35957) - you deserved it (2307)

On 08/11/2011 at 7:38pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML

#17440698
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28746) - you deserved it (3831)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:58pm - work - by Anonymous - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

#17438897
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46558) - you deserved it (4853)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by bob - United States (Texas)

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

#17421184
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36851) - you deserved it (8064)

On 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm - animals - by Zoe Avila - United States

Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML

#17415009
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31042) - you deserved it (2672)

On 08/09/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by OyGeeze28 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was getting my picture taken. The woman taking it told me to smile, so I did, showing my teeth. She said, "Please, be serious about this." Slightly offended, I smiled with my mouth closed. She then said, "If you can't be serious, we won't do this." FML

#17413633
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29872) - you deserved it (2709)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:01am - misc - by wow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML

#17413127
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28920) - you deserved it (6677)

On 08/08/2011 at 11:43pm - misc - by me - United States

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34565) - you deserved it (3444)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

#17388195
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22622) - you deserved it (5544)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm - misc - by lostforwords (woman) - Ireland (Tipperary)

Today, my mom picked up my dog from the groomers. I came home to find a small female terrier on our couch. My dog is a full grown male maltese. What's worse is that it took me a full 20 minutes to convince my mom that she had picked up the wrong dog. FML

#17384739
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27189) - you deserved it (2520)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)



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