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swimmer3141

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swimmer3141
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 January 1991 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 1482
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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swimmer3141's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84204) - you deserved it (13911)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went out for dinner with my parents where they asked me if I was still dating my boyfriend so I answered no. They quickly responded by saying, "Oh so you finally got rid of that douchebag? It's not like he was getting anywhere in life anyways." I answered no because he's my fiancé now. FML

#4434889
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39571) - you deserved it (7786)

On 08/10/2009 at 8:21pm - misc - by NewFiancee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90630) - you deserved it (19049)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34182) - you deserved it (90456)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87984) - you deserved it (26169)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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