swimchic007

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swimchic007

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1593
  • Number of comments : 97
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About swimchic007 : Hola, I'm Chelsea. I'm a pretty random girl from WI. I just say whatever I'm thinking at the time. The personal attacks on fml can get pretty pathetic. I can be a grammar nazi at times, btt nly tow teh ppls tht typ lik diz. Because honestly, if I didn't know what what I had been thinking just then, it would take me a few minutes to figure it out lol :) If you want to know more/something specific, send me a message :) I don't bite, promise!

swimchic007's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 11:41pm<b>Frowny</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 10:44am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 7:22pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 9:41pm<b>Koizumie</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 8:54pm<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 5:33pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 2:36pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 5:24pm<b>tigglebiddies</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 9:17am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 11:19am<b>HeyHeyFishFillet</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 2:55am<b>far5had</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 8:55pm<b>rickaashe</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 12:56am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 10:37am<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 11/01/2010 at 7:49pm<b>joeinthedark</b> - the 10/22/2010 at 2:52pm<b>perdix</b> - the 10/08/2010 at 9:50am<b>TortoiseLeaf</b> - the 09/27/2010 at 1:33am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 5:40am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 8:55pm

swimchic007's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

swimchic007's favorite FMLs

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

by nosleeptilpissoff / 03/18/2011 at 11:54am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

by anonymous / 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm / Kids

Today, it was the début of the high school musical I was in. When two others and I sang the word "Hell", my mother yelled at us for using that language, while the musical was still going, and dragged me off stage. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2011 at 12:14am / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, my husband sent an email invite to his family about our daughter's upcoming birthday. Upon reading the email, his aunt clicked "reply all" while emailing her husband and said, "I'd rather say we're out of town than see that dumb bitch our nephew calls his wife." FML

by smbcolorado / 02/04/2011 at 5:43pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML

by peeoncarl1111 / 01/28/2011 at 8:06pm / United States / Love

Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML

by nmaidkieavg / 01/25/2011 at 1:13am / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends thought it'd be funny to hold lighters under the smoke alarms while I was sleeping. FML

by desertpunk75 / 01/18/2011 at 10:40pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2011 at 3:09pm / Reserved / Love

Today, I put a sock on my dorm room door to get everyone to think I was getting laid. In truth, I'm a virgin and just wanted to take a peaceful nap. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2010 at 10:37pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML

by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML

by Anonymous / 12/12/2010 at 9:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

Today, a girl who has had a problem with me for as long as I can remember, tagged me in a Facebook status update in which she equated my intelligence to that of a mollusk and equated my weight to that of a hippopotamus. My boyfriend, as well as several of my "friends," liked it. FML

by smarter than a mollusk, skinner than a hippo / 11/10/2010 at 12:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 7:28pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 5:18am / United States (Michigan) / Work