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swharley

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swharley
  • Town/Country : Somewhereville, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 May 1982 (31 years)
  • Number of visits : 369
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About swharley : I love music, dancing, theater, sports, movies, books, video games, computer games, and a good laugh. Which is why I'm here, it's always fun to read a few fmls in the morning or night! If you'd like to chat, just send me a message!

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swharley's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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swharley's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to hunt Easter eggs before we have sex. I'm glad he has his priorities straight. FML

#15896515
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24735) - you deserved it (7647)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Grrrr! - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom and I tried out Just Dance 2 on the Wii. When we both threw out our hands at the same time, my mom's Wii remote hit my hand and ripped my finger nail. As I stared at the bloody, half hanging off nail, my mom muttered, "You should have stayed in your dance space." FML

#14852761
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26487) - you deserved it (7494)

On 02/05/2011 at 1:41pm - health - by Winchesterlover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I proposed to her. Her answer? "I meant give me an orgasm, not a ring!" FML

#14699033
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30965) - you deserved it (9095)

On 01/24/2011 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Limalia (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I found out how hard a lemon is to the nuts when being hurled by an angry girlfriend for losing at Wii Sports. FML

#14654944
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22584) - you deserved it (4321)

On 01/20/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by neverhavingkids (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dozed off during a lecture. When I woke up, I didn't recognize any of the people surrounding me, and I saw one guy pointing and laughing at me. It turns out, my professor instructed everyone to let me sleep because he wanted to see how long it would be before I woke up. I was asleep three hours. FML

#14650881
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8533) - you deserved it (26850)

On 01/20/2011 at 3:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

#14647585
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26286) - you deserved it (8826)

On 01/20/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by saddened97 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28193) - you deserved it (6217)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

#14567301
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23464) - you deserved it (4183)

On 01/13/2011 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Lebanon

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46723) - you deserved it (8128)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my brother asked if he could borrow my razor, since he recently hit puberty and wanted to have a shave. I decided to be nice and let him. When he returned it half an hour later, I couldn't help but notice his facial hair was untouched. FML

#14329924
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29722) - you deserved it (5777)

On 12/25/2010 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML

#14329658
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6915) - you deserved it (35191)

On 12/25/2010 at 12:29am - love - by desigymrat - France

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question". Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML

#14326662
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31228) - you deserved it (6441)

On 12/24/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by snoozerlooser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

#14325141
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35422) - you deserved it (2924)

On 12/24/2010 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsoclean (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked a girl I liked what she was doing tomorrow night. She replied, "Cleaning, so nothing really." I then asked her out to dinner. She declined. FML

#14308182
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23469) - you deserved it (3878)

On 12/23/2010 at 5:50am - love - by Username -

Today, I got fired from my job. My manager found Facebook pictures of me drinking underage at a party. He said he didn't want "that kind of image" associated with the business. It was his birthday party. He supplied the booze. FML

#14307900
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27249) - you deserved it (16744)

On 12/23/2010 at 5:04am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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