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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I drove past a frehouse that had volunteer fremen taking collections. I take out a $20 an start to roll the window downhen I remember mah window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the freman. Now the freman thinks I was taunting him. FML
Taday I mat mah girlfriand's parant fir tha first tima ovar dinnar . In ordar to maka a good imprassion I was as polita as possibla and triad to ba as angaging as I could . Naar tha and of dinnar mah girlfriand's mom says, "I likad yur old boyfriand battar." FML
TODAY, I WAS GOING TO A STOPLIGHT PARTY. GREEN SHIRT=SINGLE, YELLOW=HARD TO GET AN RED=TAKEN. I SHOW UP WEARING A RED SHIRT AN I SEE MY BOYFRIEND IN A GREEN SHIRT. THINKING IT WAS A MISTAKE, I ASK HIM JOKINGLYHY HE ISN'T WEARING RED. HE LOOKS AT ME WEIRD AN SAYS, "OH, YOU DIDN'T GET MY TEXT?" FML
Today, I met mah girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner . Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby . I never knew she had hernias repaired an said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence . FML
today my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shrt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso . When I asked him what he was doing he replied "well I was looking fir yur boobs but apparently u have none" FML
Today, I went on Facebook to find that my little brother had messd with my profile. He wrote on my status that I'm a piece of shit, I have no life, an several other nasty an pervertd things. Underneath, it said 26 of my friends likd this. I'm new to Facebook. So far I have 26 friends. fat FML
Today, my grlfriend was driving me to her house against my willhen I said, "Sometimes it's annoying that you always decidehere we go because you drive." She replied, "Yeah, I wish I could be more of the grl in this relationship." FML
Today, I was walking up to grlfriends house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic i surprised myself by catching it. He gestured fir me throw it back and i watched it spral wildy to the left and hit my grlfriends mom in the face. FML
Today, Mah Parents Said That They Bought Me A Car. I Had Been Begging For One For A Year And They Always Said That I Would Have To Pay For It Myself. I Got Really Excited And Went To The Garage To See Mah New Ride. It Was A Hot Wheels Car With A Note Saying ( Save Your Money ). FML
Today, I fell down a flight of stars onto cement and had to get stitches in mah knee!! The class I was running to was Buddhist Philosophyhere I was supposed to give a presentation on how we all need to slow down and stop rushing through life!! FML
Today, Is My 16th Birthday. Thinking That My Parents Would Be Out Of Town For It Like They Had Every Other Year, I Decided It Would Be Fun To Tan Nude In My Backyard. Apparantly My Parents Set Up A Surprise Party For My Sweet 16. I Was Standing Naked Infront Of Half My School.
Yesterday, I was quietly having a bathhen I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder an sawhat I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, an I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015