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About swampbaby985 : I come here mostly for shits and giggles, nothing more.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today mah boss told me when I transfer to a Target in Orlando I should work in the clothing department. He said it would be a good way for me to meet chicks. I told him all the girls who work in clothing in that store r ugly as hell. Apparently his daughters work there. I never knew that. FML
Today, I Saw The Grl I Had Confessed My Love To Two Years Ago On The Bus. We Chatted 4 A Few Minutes And She Got Off On The Frst Stop, Saying That This Ishere She Had To Get Off. Twenty Minutes Later, I See Her In The Bus Next To Mine. The Bus Number Was 20. Like Mine. Mega FML
Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me cuz we r different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML
Today... mah husband an I were at a wedding. When the DJ announcd that the bar was open... mah hubby was the only one to RUN to the bar while the other husbands stayd behind to dance with their wives... eyeing us in a werd way. FML
Taday I lerened explosive diarrhea is real !! I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket !! 10 feet in.!! !! liquid poo started spewing down mah pants legs !! 150 feet to go !! I ran !! It ran !! They watched !! After 15 minutes of cleaning.!! !! I slunk out !! Now.!! !! I have to fine a new market.!! !! maybe a new town !! FML
Today, I was walking on te boardwalk wit ma mom wen an old man came up an asked me to marry im. He promised e would buy me a Mercedes if I did. Te man was omeless an delusional. My mom told me I sould take te offer because it would be te best offer I could get.
Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV . At the end of it, theyhistle an throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch an run head on into new plasma screen TV . FML
Today, I Was Playing With My Cat An Holding Her Upside Down. She Startd Frantically Meowing, But I Still Continud On Playing With Her. Seconds Later, She Got Explosive Diarrhea Everywhere, Including My Hair, Face, Shrt, An Mouth. FML
Today, my ex said "I love you!" for te first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfid, I said "Well, you're too late for tat." My ex lookd at me wit irritation and said "I'm talking to im!" and gesturd to my boyfriend. Tey'd been "best friends" since middle scool. FML
Today, I trid to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticd. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
TODAY, I GOT AN EMAIL FROM THE COMPANY THAT MANAGES MY CAT'S MICROCHIP INFORMING ME THAT I HAD TO UPDATE MY INFORMATION THAT HAD BEEN ENTERED BY THE LOCAL HUMANE SOCIETY. APPARENTLY, THEY LISTED MY CAT ( CORAL ) AS THE OWNER, AND ME AS THE PET. TO CHANGE IT, THEY NEEDED THE CAT'S SIGNATURE. FML
Today... it is mah wedding day. I couldn't find mah very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos... I found it in mah pool... covered in red paint... with a note on one of mah lounge chars reading... "Today is MY wedding day... bitch." FML
Friday 27 March 2015