Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

swampbaby985

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

swampbaby985

7Fucked!

swampbaby985swampbaby985
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 November 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3988
  • Number of comments : 85
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About swampbaby985 : I come here mostly for shits and giggles, nothing more.

swampbaby985's page activity

Visits<b>chriss2015</b> - 2 hours ago<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - yesterday at 11:54pm<b>lchollett</b> - yesterday at 8:23pm<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - yesterday at 5:18pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 12:27am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 10:23pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 6:05pm<b>ncbeach22</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 4:23pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 10:56pm<b>ambert0322</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 7:08am<b>just_dorky_me</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 6:01pm<b>julia_adamec</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:55am<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 2:43pm<b>vintral88</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 12:31pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 8:16am<b>Grimreaprincess</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:36am<b>Tommy214</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 9:28am<b>vikky538</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 9:22am

Fucked!<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - yesterday at 5:54am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - yesterday at 11:18pm<b>ambert0322</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 1:08pm<b>Duckzy</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 5:28am<b>lukian</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 11:50pm<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 3:16am<b>braybrayden</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 4:31am

swampbaby985's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of swampbaby985's badges

swampbaby985's favorite FMLs

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

#8515469
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25973) - you deserved it (3287)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by charliesangel123 (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML

#7594942
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34774) - you deserved it (2105)

On 01/26/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by newniece (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I forgot to take a certain medication that helps turn my lead logs into flaky floaters. So what happens? I'm in the restroom for 30 minutes, straining to go, and two girls walk in and start imitating me. FML

Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML

#7396511
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32853) - you deserved it (2641)

On 01/17/2010 at 10:58am - misc - by poppet2010 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss told me when I transfer to a Target in Orlando I should work in the clothing department. He said it would be a good way for me to meet chicks. I told him all the girls who work in clothing in that store are ugly as hell. Apparently his daughters work there. I never knew that. FML

#7210467
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8582) - you deserved it (27249)

On 01/08/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw the girl I had confessed my love to two years ago on the bus. We chatted for a few minutes and she got off on the first stop, saying that this is where she had to get off. Twenty minutes later, I see her in the bus next to mine. The bus number was 20. Like mine. FML

#6917396
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24427) - you deserved it (4899)

On 12/24/2009 at 4:35am - love - by busrides (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

#6778697
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43418) - you deserved it (3440)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

#6583595
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25406) - you deserved it (3490)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my husband and I were at a wedding. When the DJ announced that the bar was open, my hubby was the only one to RUN to the bar while the other husbands stayed behind to dance with their wives, eyeing us in a weird way. FML

#6456010
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27511) - you deserved it (3855)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Embarassedd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42140) - you deserved it (3263)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was walking on the boardwalk with my mom when an old man came up and asked me to marry him. He promised he would buy me a Mercedes if I did. The man was homeless and delusional. My mom told me I should take the offer because it would be the best offer I could get. FML

#6421285
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31626) - you deserved it (2775)

On 11/23/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by ellie (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

#6040097
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12073) - you deserved it (84534)

On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told the man I've been in love with for 3 years, who also happens to be my boss, how I felt. He responds by filing sexual harassment charges against me. FML

#5814230
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16359) - you deserved it (30804)

On 10/13/2009 at 10:13am - intimacy - by awwshit (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my ex said "I love you!" for the first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfied, I said "Well, you're too late for that." My ex looked at me with irritation and said "I'm talking to him!" and gestured to my boyfriend. They'd been "best friends" since middle school. FML

#5751188
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14096) - you deserved it (31756)

On 10/10/2009 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: