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swampbaby985

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swampbaby985
  • Town/Country : Louisiana, US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 November 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 1048
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About swampbaby985 : I come here mostly for shits and giggles, nothing more.

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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swampbaby985's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML

#14074806
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34703) - you deserved it (4919)

On 12/03/2010 at 7:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

#13927798
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14242) - you deserved it (37881)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after weeks of thinking and playing every outcome possible in my head, I told my parents I'm gay. My dad nodded and didn't even look up from his book; my mom told me to go to the doctor if it starts to itch. FML

#13374619
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30976) - you deserved it (7875)

On 10/09/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

#13321339
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7403) - you deserved it (40732)

On 10/04/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

#13261613
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41465) - you deserved it (4500)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while trying to give an immunization to a "special" 13-year-old, I got spit on, kicked, almost bitten, and had a chair thrown at me. When it was all over, I flinched when the patient tried to hug me. Her mom called me a "b*tch" and I later found out he wasn't a "special" child. FML

#12767492
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31004) - you deserved it (3088)

On 08/27/2010 at 2:49am - work - by atetoeate (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom signed me up for Weight Watchers as a surprise birthday present. FML

#12420355
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23966) - you deserved it (9784)

On 08/09/2010 at 10:29pm - health - by fatman - United States (Michigan)

Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

#8966717
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10365) - you deserved it (22804)

On 03/10/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by ohno - United States

Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

#8966717
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10365) - you deserved it (22804)

On 03/10/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by ohno - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

#8875479
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21737) - you deserved it (3748)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

#8875479
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21737) - you deserved it (3748)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

#8515469
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19007) - you deserved it (2281)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by charliesangel123 (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML

#7594942
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31682) - you deserved it (1886)

On 01/26/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by newniece (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML

#7396511
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26500) - you deserved it (2153)

On 01/17/2010 at 10:58am - misc - by poppet2010 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss told me when I transfer to a Target in Orlando I should work in the clothing department. He said it would be a good way for me to meet chicks. I told him all the girls who work in clothing in that store are ugly as hell. Apparently his daughters work there. I never knew that. FML

#7210467
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6629) - you deserved it (22471)

On 01/08/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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