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swampbaby985

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swampbaby985

5Fucked!

swampbaby985swampbaby985
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 November 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3972
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About swampbaby985 : I come here mostly for shits and giggles, nothing more.

swampbaby985's page activity

Visits<b>aha_awkward_</b> - 2 hours ago<b>ncbeach22</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 4:23pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 10:56pm<b>ambert0322</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 7:08am<b>just_dorky_me</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 6:01pm<b>julia_adamec</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:55am<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 2:43pm<b>vintral88</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 12:31pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 8:16am<b>Grimreaprincess</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:36am<b>Tommy214</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 9:28am<b>vikky538</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 9:22am<b>mercedesm</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 6:58pm<b>Cynt3r</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 9:02am<b>nikilynn420</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 3:32am<b>Dom_Olivares</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 9:08pm<b>sappy23</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:52pm<b>softpaws</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 4:32am

Fucked!<b>ambert0322</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 1:08pm<b>Duckzy</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 5:28am<b>lukian</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 11:50pm<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 3:16am<b>braybrayden</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 4:31am

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swampbaby985's favorite FMLs

Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML

#16508942
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64770) - you deserved it (3814)

On 06/05/2011 at 1:17am - love - by dumped - United States (Utah)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113763) - you deserved it (8021)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13877) - you deserved it (69506)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML

#15510596
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31183) - you deserved it (10439)

On 03/27/2011 at 6:06am - animals - by StinkyDogs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML

#15479009
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33461) - you deserved it (5281)

On 03/25/2011 at 4:50am - misc - by radicaloser - United States (Oregon)

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

#15432254
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47337) - you deserved it (4465)

On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML

#15381959
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50047) - you deserved it (8047)

On 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm - kids - by jaimie - United States (Florida)

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

#15339337
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43987) - you deserved it (11732)

On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

#15154591
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13558) - you deserved it (35038)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45753) - you deserved it (8201)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML

#14619610
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29748) - you deserved it (5960)

On 01/17/2011 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by No O-face (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML

#14605764
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56508) - you deserved it (4429)

On 01/16/2011 at 9:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom gave me my Christmas gift. It was a letter containing $200 and a note saying, "Here's the down payment for your apartment, please just move out already." I turned 18 last week. Thanks mom. FML

#14331455
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25129) - you deserved it (2961)

On 12/25/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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