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swampbaby985

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swampbaby985

17Fucked!

swampbaby985swampbaby985
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 November 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4723
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About swampbaby985 : I come here mostly for shits and giggles, nothing more.

swampbaby985's page activity

Visits<b>123Craig</b> - yesterday at 6:36pm<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 4:36pm<b>Frankie602</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 4:26am<b>gkmd98</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 10:39pm<b>monkey8970</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 2:43pm<b>914smv</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 10:49am<b>devinm112233</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 4:54am<b>ThePerry</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 11:23pm<b>Avi8r</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 10:25pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 11:01pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 9:07pm<b>tappm98</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 3:16pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 10:30pm<b>crayon_chomper</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 9:07pm<b>shanewh40</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 7:55am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 5:56am<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 2:51am<b>bunnyfish</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 2:40am

Fucked!<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 10:36pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 3:07am<b>Avi8r</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 4:16am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 4:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 3:43am<b>bigredmonkeybutt</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 1:08am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 11:26pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:53pm<b>popper668</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 4:59am<b>AllyJo1231</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 8:38pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 5:54am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 11:18pm<b>ambert0322</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 1:08pm<b>Duckzy</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 5:28am<b>lukian</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 11:50pm<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 3:16am<b>braybrayden</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 4:31am

swampbaby985's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of swampbaby985's badges

swampbaby985's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43137) - you deserved it (8225)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML

#18023767
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34322) - you deserved it (4951)

On 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

#17852902
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29474) - you deserved it (8421)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML

#17838831
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41089) - you deserved it (7531)

On 09/26/2011 at 11:35am - intimacy - by Oops (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML

#17823429
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56609) - you deserved it (2880)

On 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

#17789217
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36726) - you deserved it (3210)

On 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33742) - you deserved it (8820)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

#17706134
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17020) - you deserved it (52877)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31891) - you deserved it (4602)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML

#17663031
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30706) - you deserved it (2675)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by ohaifml - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35541) - you deserved it (5890)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I married the man of my dreams. At the after-party, my psycho grandma stood up, called for quiet, and engaged in a long rant about how this was "the beginning of the end" and advising everyone that the secret to a successful marriage is "cheating, plain and simple". FML

#17539435
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33520) - you deserved it (3023)

On 08/21/2011 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38677) - you deserved it (10328)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me, calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" for getting his "baby girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married for 3 years. FML

#17187115
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51424) - you deserved it (3048)

On 07/20/2011 at 3:40am - kids - by Harry - United States

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46483) - you deserved it (3840)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)



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