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swampbaby985

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swampbaby985
  • Town/Country : Louisiana, US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 November 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 1040
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About swampbaby985 : I come here mostly for shits and giggles, nothing more.

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swampbaby985's favorite FMLs

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24032) - you deserved it (6478)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

#17706134
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13359) - you deserved it (45324)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML

#17663031
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25012) - you deserved it (2201)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by ohaifml - United States (Texas)

Today, I married the man of my dreams. At the after-party, my psycho grandma stood up, called for quiet, and engaged in a long rant about how this was "the beginning of the end" and advising everyone that the secret to a successful marriage is "cheating, plain and simple". FML

#17539435
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24722) - you deserved it (2027)

On 08/21/2011 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me, calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" for getting his "baby girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married for 3 years. FML

#17187115
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45456) - you deserved it (2687)

On 07/20/2011 at 3:40am - kids - by Harry - United States

Today, is the 6 month anniversary of my boyfriend and I. Turns out next month he will be celebrating the 3 year anniversary of him and his wife. FML

#17039941
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42827) - you deserved it (9390)

On 07/09/2011 at 11:19am - love - by Beanzbeanz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, is the 6 month anniversary of my boyfriend and I. Turns out next month he will be celebrating the 3 year anniversary of him and his wife. FML

#17039941
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42827) - you deserved it (9390)

On 07/09/2011 at 11:19am - love - by Beanzbeanz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

#16794914
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44045) - you deserved it (6900)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:13am - intimacy - by fmlguy382 - United States

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

#16607799
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32277) - you deserved it (6615)

On 06/11/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by julia - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

#16607799
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32277) - you deserved it (6615)

On 06/11/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by julia - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29477) - you deserved it (11636)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29477) - you deserved it (11636)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29477) - you deserved it (11636)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML

#16508942
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60526) - you deserved it (3538)

On 06/05/2011 at 1:17am - love - by dumped - United States (Utah)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97954) - you deserved it (6728)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved



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