About swampbaby985 : I come here mostly for shits and giggles, nothing more.
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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, my boss told me when I transfer to a Target in Orlando I should work in the clothing department. He said it would be a good way for me to meet chicks. I told him all the girls who work in clothing in that store are ugly as hell. Apparently his daughters work there. I never knew that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5909) - you deserved it (17852)
On 01/08/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15696) - you deserved it (2273)
On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, my husband and I were at a wedding. When the DJ announced that the bar was open, my hubby was the only one to RUN to the bar while the other husbands stayed behind to dance with their wives, eyeing us in a weird way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21633) - you deserved it (3306)
On 11/26/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Embarassedd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31856) - you deserved it (2160)
On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was walking on the boardwalk with my mom when an old man came up and asked me to marry him. He promised he would buy me a Mercedes if I did. The man was homeless and delusional. My mom told me I should take the offer because it would be the best offer I could get. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24522) - you deserved it (1959)
On 11/23/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by ellie (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39608) - you deserved it (3777)
On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I told the man I've been in love with for 3 years, who also happens to be my boss, how I felt. He responds by filing sexual harassment charges against me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12049) - you deserved it (20867)
On 10/13/2009 at 10:13am - intimacy - by awwshit (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my ex said "I love you!" for the first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfied, I said "Well, you're too late for that." My ex looked at me with irritation and said "I'm talking to him!" and gestured to my boyfriend. They'd been "best friends" since middle school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10820) - you deserved it (23012)
On 10/10/2009 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (62083) - you deserved it (2795)
On 09/19/2009 at 5:04pm - misc - by weddingcrashed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got a promotion to management at work. My employer decided to give the 'non-management' employees a really nice raise. Which means the job I had before my promotion is now paying more than the job I have now. Did I just get demoted? FML
I agree, your life sucks (33600) - you deserved it (1861)
On 09/13/2009 at 2:12am - work - by ofcourse (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40096) - you deserved it (123068)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my parents decided to visit me. When I first got my apartment I gave them a key "just in case" and today they used this key to enter when I didn't answer their knocking. I didn't answer because I was having sex with my boyfriend. My parents saw everything. They didn't know I was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58640) - you deserved it (21539)
On 08/10/2009 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by gorgeousrenthead (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37751) - you deserved it (7063)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm - work - by fedexed (man) - United States (California)
Today, I introduced my ex-wife to my new girlfriend. They got along so well that my new girlfriend is going to my ex-wife's house tonight "just to hang out". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40162) - you deserved it (16768)
On 06/13/2009 at 6:35am - love - by Michael (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (81140) - you deserved it (15203)
On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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