About swampbaby985 : I come here mostly for shits and giggles, nothing more.
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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, at Arby's, there were two cute guys behind me in line. Right before ordering, my dad said loudly "Go get the calorie sheet. You need to lose more weight before you think about going after those guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27246) - you deserved it (3613)
On 12/13/2010 at 1:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25349) - you deserved it (7144)
On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30529) - you deserved it (3958)
On 12/03/2010 at 7:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13930) - you deserved it (37217)
On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, after weeks of thinking and playing every outcome possible in my head, I told my parents I'm gay. My dad nodded and didn't even look up from his book; my mom told me to go to the doctor if it starts to itch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27522) - you deserved it (7395)
On 10/09/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7206) - you deserved it (39812)
On 10/04/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37647) - you deserved it (3647)
On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while trying to give an immunization to a "special" 13-year-old, I got spit on, kicked, almost bitten, and had a chair thrown at me. When it was all over, I flinched when the patient tried to hug me. Her mom called me a "b*tch" and I later found out he wasn't a "special" child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26683) - you deserved it (2358)
On 08/27/2010 at 2:49am - work - by atetoeate (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my mom signed me up for Weight Watchers as a surprise birthday present. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21367) - you deserved it (7864)
On 08/09/2010 at 10:29pm - health - by fatman - United States (Michigan)
Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8547) - you deserved it (16954)
On 03/10/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by ohno - United States
Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17233) - you deserved it (2912)
On 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17233) - you deserved it (2912)
On 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18299) - you deserved it (2229)
On 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by charliesangel123 (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26772) - you deserved it (1442)
On 01/26/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by newniece (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23990) - you deserved it (1789)
On 01/17/2010 at 10:58am - misc - by poppet2010 - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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