swampbaby985

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swampbaby985

22Fucked!

swampbaby985swampbaby985
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 November 1986 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5511
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About swampbaby985 : I come here mostly for shits and giggles, nothing more.

swampbaby985's page activity

Visits<b>lovelylucifer</b> - yesterday at 8:23pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 5:33pm<b>Emma1562</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 1:13am<b>Justkidding100</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 12:06pm<b>BexBaby86</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 6:41am<b>emmnguyenn</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 12:42am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 3:29am<b>slightlyadulty</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 12:26am<b>Blizz18</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 9:48pm<b>Magnoxidans</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 4:42pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 4:30pm<b>demix</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 5:56am<b>juliakte</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:12pm<b>Flameuz</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 11:40am<b>bbenedict</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 11:51am<b>Celion91</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 10:08pm<b>Kitteh8601</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 11:26pm<b>aruden</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 2:51am

Fucked!<b>Magnoxidans</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 7:35pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 10:30pm<b>Celion91</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 4:59pm<b>SOILEDIT</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 11:15am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 10:00pm<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 10:36pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 3:07am<b>Avi8r</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 4:16am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 4:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 3:43am<b>bigredmonkeybutt</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 1:08am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 11:26pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:53pm<b>popper668</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 4:59am<b>AllyJo1231</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 8:38pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 5:54am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 11:18pm<b>ambert0322</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 1:08pm

swampbaby985's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of swampbaby985's badges

swampbaby985's favorite FMLs

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 2:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML

by Jobby / 06/30/2012 at 8:48am / Health

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

by jonasister / 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 8:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

by amythest / 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Kids

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

by rapper in training / 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML

by zobara / 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm / Switzerland / Money

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 10:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was left at the altar. For the second time. By the same man. FML

by givingup / 01/30/2012 at 12:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I was left at the altar. For the second time. By the same man. FML

by givingup / 01/30/2012 at 12:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Love