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swampbaby985

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swampbaby985

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 November 1986 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1713
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About swampbaby985 : I come here mostly for shits and giggles, nothing more.

swampbaby985's page activity

Visits<b>BBlah</b> - yesterday at 3:18am<b>CAC_Boomerang</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 10:33pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:33am<b>minioncandy</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 8:16pm<b>JoshArson</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 9:06am<b>shadowedpixie</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 4:39am<b>pptm</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:31am<b>lululatenight</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 9:07pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 12:23am<b>KawaiiPenguin13</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 9:56pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:26am<b>ShortyJorty</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 4:46am<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 7:40pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 3:18pm<b>Testing1234</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 3:43am<b>abylenee_</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:11pm<b>prideslegion</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:17am<b>jgwyh</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 12:07pm

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swampbaby985's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11150) - you deserved it (38828)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32368) - you deserved it (4084)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML

#19870672
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49439) - you deserved it (2249)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:48am - health - by Jobby (woman) -

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47070) - you deserved it (4367)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29794) - you deserved it (3511)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
408 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57195) - you deserved it (3097)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

#19472995
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37628) - you deserved it (2734)

On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39343) - you deserved it (12171)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my new roommate told me he was bisexual. A little concerned, I opened up and told him that made me uncomfortable. His reply: "Oh don't worry, I'm only attracted to good looking guys." FML

#19232371
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12399) - you deserved it (44281)

On 03/07/2012 at 9:01am - misc - by Leland - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10019) - you deserved it (54353)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10019) - you deserved it (54353)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36322) - you deserved it (2649)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24391) - you deserved it (2574)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54938) - you deserved it (4224)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was left at the altar. For the second time. By the same man. FML

#18949271
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31385) - you deserved it (56391)

On 01/30/2012 at 12:37am - love - by givingup (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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