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swampbaby985

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swampbaby985

4Fucked!

swampbaby985swampbaby985
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 November 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3556
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About swampbaby985 : I come here mostly for shits and giggles, nothing more.

swampbaby985's page activity

Visits<b>HarryHirsch</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Vertain</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 10:24am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 7:31am<b>menabella</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 12:36pm<b>twistedtwincity</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 6:27am<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 5:45am<b>enphinitie</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 4:26am<b>vlalam</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:55pm<b>PaigeLeeAnn11</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:32pm<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 3:49pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 1:34pm<b>Shipley18</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 10:43pm<b>tiny1972</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 8:39am<b>Steph_mmarie</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 1:03am<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 12:56pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 2:57pm<b>Danielle_xxx</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:20pm<b>lex1459</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 3:47am

Fucked!<b>Duckzy</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 5:28am<b>lukian</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 11:50pm<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 3:16am<b>braybrayden</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 4:31am

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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swampbaby985's favorite FMLs

Today, I got engaged. My family is already placing bets on how long it will take for my fiancée to "wise up and ditch" me. FML

#20077487
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21223) - you deserved it (1949)

On 09/18/2012 at 7:22am - love - by thanksfamily (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

#20015372
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34413) - you deserved it (2127)

On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML

#19999762
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30350) - you deserved it (2656)

On 08/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by SingleAgain (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27706) - you deserved it (12817)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12198) - you deserved it (40150)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34889) - you deserved it (4364)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML

#19870672
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52246) - you deserved it (2427)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:48am - health - by Jobby (woman) -

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
479 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49441) - you deserved it (4598)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30517) - you deserved it (3578)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58991) - you deserved it (3206)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

#19472995
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39273) - you deserved it (2874)

On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40448) - you deserved it (12439)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my new roommate told me he was bisexual. A little concerned, I opened up and told him that made me uncomfortable. His reply: "Oh don't worry, I'm only attracted to good looking guys." FML

#19232371
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12917) - you deserved it (45350)

On 03/07/2012 at 9:01am - misc - by Leland - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11053) - you deserved it (56676)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11053) - you deserved it (56676)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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