About swampbaby985 : I come here mostly for shits and giggles, nothing more.
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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30700) - you deserved it (5518)
On 06/11/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by julia - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25345) - you deserved it (9381)
On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25345) - you deserved it (9381)
On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25345) - you deserved it (9381)
On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54693) - you deserved it (2833)
On 06/05/2011 at 1:17am - love - by dumped - United States (Utah)
Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11099) - you deserved it (53542)
On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36152) - you deserved it (4510)
On 03/27/2011 at 4:37am - intimacy - by Angel1000168 - Australia
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36152) - you deserved it (4510)
On 03/27/2011 at 4:37am - intimacy - by Angel1000168 - Australia
Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41116) - you deserved it (3496)
On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41074) - you deserved it (6172)
On 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm - kids - by jaimie - United States (Florida)
Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35503) - you deserved it (8612)
On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -
Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10256) - you deserved it (25886)
On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22942) - you deserved it (4486)
On 01/17/2011 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by No O-face (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46909) - you deserved it (3598)
On 01/16/2011 at 9:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mom gave me my Christmas gift. It was a letter containing $200 and a note saying, "Here's the down payment for your apartment, please just move out already." I turned 18 last week. Thanks mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20147) - you deserved it (2554)
On 12/25/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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