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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 November 1986 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6021
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About swampbaby985 : I come here mostly for shits and giggles, nothing more.

swampbaby985's page activity

Visits<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 3:59am<b>smeboo</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 7:54pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 1:58pm<b>Mons</b> - the 10/13/2016 at 10:51am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/13/2016 at 6:54am<b>HieronymusBoche</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 10:33am<b>carleybeak</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 8:52pm<b>justplainawkwrd</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 12:18pm<b>wellthisisntgood</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 11:05pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 1:45pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 10:18am<b>toolazytotype99</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 11:06pm<b>lovelylucifer</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 8:23pm<b>Emma1562</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 1:13am<b>Justkidding100</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 12:06pm<b>BexBaby86</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 6:41am<b>emmnguyenn</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 12:42am<b>slightlyadulty</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 12:26am

Fucked!<b>toolazytotype99</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 5:07am<b>Magnoxidans</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 7:35pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 10:30pm<b>Celion91</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 4:59pm<b>SOILEDIT</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 11:15am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 10:00pm<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 10:36pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 3:07am<b>Avi8r</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 4:16am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 4:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 3:43am<b>bigredmonkeybutt</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 1:08am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 11:26pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:53pm<b>popper668</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 4:59am<b>AllyJo1231</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 8:38pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 5:54am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 11:18pm

swampbaby985's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!


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Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of swampbaby985's badges

swampbaby985's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

by tingles / 01/19/2013 at 8:20am / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 8:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

by MoreActionThanMe / 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm / United States / Animals

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

by whaleninjapoop / 12/06/2012 at 3:24am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

by KtSue / 11/12/2012 at 12:25am / United States / Health

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

by kat / 10/31/2012 at 7:30am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

by Dino / 10/12/2012 at 2:36am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

by holyshitbatman / 09/22/2012 at 10:06am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I got engaged. My family is already placing bets on how long it will take for my fiancée to "wise up and ditch" me. FML

by thanksfamily / 09/18/2012 at 7:22am / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Health

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

by mikeissad / 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML

by SingleAgain / 08/03/2012 at 2:22am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2012 at 6:54am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

by tuggernuts / 07/17/2012 at 11:32am / United States / Intimacy