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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 November 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4164
  • Number of comments : 87
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About swampbaby985 : I come here mostly for shits and giggles, nothing more.

swampbaby985's page activity

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Fucked!<b>popper668</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 4:59am<b>AllyJo1231</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 8:38pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 5:54am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 11:18pm<b>ambert0322</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 1:08pm<b>Duckzy</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 5:28am<b>lukian</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 11:50pm<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 3:16am<b>braybrayden</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 4:31am

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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

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swampbaby985's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my class was attempting to raise money for me through a bake sale because some girl spread a false rumor that I was raped and that my father was going to disown me. The whole school believes it and my biology teacher took me aside and asked if I needed someone to confide in. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64062) - you deserved it (2900)

On 07/16/2009 at 4:32pm - misc - by dork (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (56619) - you deserved it (24891)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got an email from a guy to whom I sold my old phone to over eBay. Turns out I forgot to delete the nude photos of myself and my boyfriend that I had stored up. His email asked me for "any PIN numbers needed to use the phone, and oh by the way, nice tits." FML


I agree, your life sucks (10269) - you deserved it (73242)

On 07/01/2009 at 6:31am - intimacy - by paprikarulz (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I introduced my ex-wife to my new girlfriend. They got along so well that my new girlfriend is going to my ex-wife's house tonight "just to hang out". FML

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML


I agree, your life sucks (101394) - you deserved it (21600)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML


I agree, your life sucks (128927) - you deserved it (77841)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML


I agree, your life sucks (82762) - you deserved it (5497)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML


I agree, your life sucks (138101) - you deserved it (7778)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up with a hangover after an intense night out. I decided to look at my camera to figure out what happened the night before. All my pictures were deleted except one video of me dancing to Lollipop by Lil Wayne, and giving a lapdance and head to my giant plush rat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10512) - you deserved it (54737)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by crunkdrunk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53513) - you deserved it (8682)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML


I agree, your life sucks (63498) - you deserved it (8951)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was selected to give my speech to the entire school. I was later told it had to be censored because it was inappropriate, even though I was just trying to make a point. My speech was on political correctness. My speech on political correctness was censored for political reasons. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47083) - you deserved it (4793)

On 05/16/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML


I agree, your life sucks (60741) - you deserved it (21148)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a telemarketer called for my dad. Jokingly, I said, "I haven't seen him for like five days...I'm starting to get worried," in my best child-like voice. Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services. I'm 20. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16800) - you deserved it (66436)

On 04/30/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Telemistake (woman) - United States (New York)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

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