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swampbaby985

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swampbaby985

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 November 1986 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2201
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About swampbaby985 : I come here mostly for shits and giggles, nothing more.

swampbaby985's page activity

Visits<b>steftriv</b> - 5 hours ago<b>hurtfeet</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Rizzen</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 3:13pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:36pm<b>SHAMUS_the_WITTY</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 3:34pm<b>vlalam</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:12pm<b>Link5794</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 3:23pm<b>WorryNot</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 6:21pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 5:44pm<b>Nightskyra</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:06am<b>BMF96</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 3:17am<b>Wjanzen32</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 7:16pm<b>julaylay99</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 4:48pm<b>pt300</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 12:39am<b>oOisabellaOo</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 12:25am<b>abbybailey204</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 9:54pm<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 9:16pm<b>omgpp</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 7:21pm

Liked!<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 3:16am<b>braybrayden</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 4:31am

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swampbaby985's favorite FMLs

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

#1683242
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57350) - you deserved it (19969)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a telemarketer called for my dad. Jokingly, I said, "I haven't seen him for like five days...I'm starting to get worried," in my best child-like voice. Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services. I'm 20. FML

#1490808
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14927) - you deserved it (62821)

On 04/30/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Telemistake (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

#1409707
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105832) - you deserved it (8232)

On 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by seriouslywtf (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

#1346080
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83219) - you deserved it (5661)

On 04/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by calliefml (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand in his boxers, he stands up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML

#868136
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18341) - you deserved it (100417)

On 04/08/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by cdoyle - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a gay bar and asking a really convincing drag queen about her daily routine. I asked how she tucked her penis in. She responded, "Um, I'm a woman." I said, "Oh I'm sorry, are you pre-op or post-op?" She said, "No, I always have been and always will be a woman, asshole." FML

#866665
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19480) - you deserved it (71848)

On 04/08/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by thatwasmiz (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my patient, a chubby little girl, stood on a scale to measure her weight. She was 5 yrs old and weighed 65 lbs. I started giving her advice on eating healthy: fruits, vegetables, and more greens. She turned to her mother giving a look of shock and said, "But mommy, the doctor is fat too!" FML

#810439
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52131) - you deserved it (18822)

On 04/05/2009 at 12:25am - kids - by Shnur (woman) - United States (California)

Today, when my boyfriend reffered to my hair, I told him I was going to dye it. He responded by saying, "finally, so how much you going for, 40, maybe 50 pounds?". I said dye it, not diet. FML

#810319
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57634) - you deserved it (8545)

On 04/05/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by lifestinks - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML

#798927
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18974) - you deserved it (145063)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by ohshittttttt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML

#446324
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100086) - you deserved it (24783)

On 03/18/2009 at 6:42pm - love - by Syferix (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (658602) - you deserved it (442586)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

#221601
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46511) - you deserved it (25492)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm - misc - by mr.palendrome (man) - United States (New York)

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

#221148
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65031) - you deserved it (3728)

On 03/05/2009 at 8:51pm - kids - by SadDad - United States (Florida)



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