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swampbaby985

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swampbaby985

4Fucked!

swampbaby985swampbaby985
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 November 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3843
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About swampbaby985 : I come here mostly for shits and giggles, nothing more.

swampbaby985's page activity

Visits<b>audreymatteaxox</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 5:16pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:11pm<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 3:37am<b>KhazKhazz</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 12:30am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 7:39am<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 9:03pm<b>XxKimixUchihaxX</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 2:50am<b>keiNan</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 3:47pm<b>Illuminanomous</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:14am<b>watermelon1</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 10:46pm<b>Hauclir</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 12:50pm<b>Sludge3</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 7:12pm<b>Vertain</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 10:24am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 7:31am<b>menabella</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 12:36pm<b>twistedtwincity</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 6:27am<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 5:45am<b>enphinitie</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 4:26am

Fucked!<b>Duckzy</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 5:28am<b>lukian</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 11:50pm<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 3:16am<b>braybrayden</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 4:31am

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swampbaby985's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my ex-wife to my new girlfriend. They got along so well that my new girlfriend is going to my ex-wife's house tonight "just to hang out". FML

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99294) - you deserved it (21126)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
824 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124249) - you deserved it (75732)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

#2736001
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82235) - you deserved it (5454)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133386) - you deserved it (7377)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up with a hangover after an intense night out. I decided to look at my camera to figure out what happened the night before. All my pictures were deleted except one video of me dancing to Lollipop by Lil Wayne, and giving a lapdance and head to my giant plush rat. FML

#2454603
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10411) - you deserved it (54498)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by crunkdrunk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML

#2405054
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52801) - you deserved it (8584)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML

#2076493
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60095) - you deserved it (8488)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was selected to give my speech to the entire school. I was later told it had to be censored because it was inappropriate, even though I was just trying to make a point. My speech was on political correctness. My speech on political correctness was censored for political reasons. FML

#1973868
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44795) - you deserved it (4580)

On 05/16/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

#1683242
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57689) - you deserved it (20044)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a telemarketer called for my dad. Jokingly, I said, "I haven't seen him for like five days...I'm starting to get worried," in my best child-like voice. Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services. I'm 20. FML

#1490808
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15091) - you deserved it (63170)

On 04/30/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Telemistake (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

#1409707
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109727) - you deserved it (8563)

On 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by seriouslywtf (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

#1346080
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86026) - you deserved it (5871)

On 04/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by calliefml (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand in his boxers, he stands up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML

#868136
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18491) - you deserved it (101123)

On 04/08/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by cdoyle - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a gay bar and asking a really convincing drag queen about her daily routine. I asked how she tucked her penis in. She responded, "Um, I'm a woman." I said, "Oh I'm sorry, are you pre-op or post-op?" She said, "No, I always have been and always will be a woman, asshole." FML

#866665
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20996) - you deserved it (74467)

On 04/08/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by thatwasmiz (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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