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Offline (the 08/24/2015 at 2:53am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 853
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About swagisforchumps : I'm confused. Oh wait, maybe I'm not. I constantly smell peanut butter And btw, I'm really sexy... Like a tree

swagisforchumps's page activity

Visits<b>paperbag77</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 9:07pm<b>Saber74</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 10:05pm<b>that_average_guy</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 10:10pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 1:36pm<b>lennelleong</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 1:43pm<b>hllnz0469</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 7:01pm<b>tacojauns</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 12:02am<b>Neonemerld</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 12:09pm<b>Ayada</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 5:56pm<b>Coolada</b> - the 11/12/2012 at 7:50pm

swagisforchumps's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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swagisforchumps's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

by Heather / 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

by jesushelpme / 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

by hurtinrealbad / 10/16/2012 at 1:25pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2012 at 7:37am / United States / Kids

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

by firstdategonebad / 10/12/2012 at 2:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find my psycho ex-girlfriend in my house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me and she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. FML

by BusinessTurtle / 10/06/2012 at 3:49am / United States (Iowa) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went on a bad first date and the guy was more into it than me. I tried to scare him away by only speaking in robot voice, with robot arms. He thought it was adorable, and told me I reminded him of his mother. FML

by Queso Dog / 10/02/2012 at 10:42am / Japan / Love

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

by not the scalpel / 09/15/2012 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, at my aunt's wedding, the time for the tossing of the bouquet came and the announcer asked for all the single ladies to gather behind the bride. I was the only one. FML

by single lady / 08/15/2011 at 10:45am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML

by Lonely / 07/24/2011 at 1:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I realized that the guy I've been sending anonymous, dirty emails to knows who I am. My signature, which includes my full name, was automatically added to the end of every email. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2011 at 9:10pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

by wow / 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work