About supportcommand : I find you offensive for finding me offensive.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16606) - you deserved it (65832)
On 04/27/2013 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26940) - you deserved it (5227)
On 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25863) - you deserved it (5963)
On 03/10/2013 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, the guy in the dorm room next to me was playing very loud metal music. I went next door and kindly asked him to turn it off. He did, so I went back to my room to go back to sleep. It turns out he was using the music to drown out his girlfriend's very loud moans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1210) - you deserved it (9116)
On 03/09/2013 at 8:35am - intimacy - by ShittyWalls (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend left me for a girl I know. She was the girl my last boyfriend left me for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41960) - you deserved it (2963)
On 03/09/2013 at 1:16am - love - by itsnotyouitsher - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37916) - you deserved it (3032)
Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38266) - you deserved it (4760)
On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, the "Child Care and Development" class at my high school assigned all 50 students to carry a fake baby around school all day for a week. I can't even read a page of my notes without hearing a robotic crying noise. Today is the first day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23004) - you deserved it (3768)
On 03/01/2013 at 8:20am - misc - by Headache - United States
Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19703) - you deserved it (3013)
On 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm - misc - by Neversleepingthereagain (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I went to use the restroom. I looked down at the toilet, and saw blood smeared all over the seat, as well as several dirty tampons in the floor. I confronted my girlfriend about the mess, only for her to reply with, "Well, what'd you expect? You live with a woman now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38174) - you deserved it (3243)
On 02/26/2013 at 1:29am - health - by GrossedOut (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25542) - you deserved it (5916)
On 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm - kids - by soaked (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26628) - you deserved it (2411)
On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, the guy who confessed his love for me also confessed that in his rage, he almost shot the last girl who broke his heart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30763) - you deserved it (2204)
On 02/23/2013 at 8:46am - love - by BadAssBandit897 (woman) - Canada
Today, I uploaded the first chapter of my best writing yet to a popular writing website. After ten minutes, I was thrilled to already see one review and five comments. Each comment was telling me to immediately delete the story because of how horrible it was. The rating was half a star. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20739) - you deserved it (6813)
On 02/20/2013 at 11:36am - work - by Apparently not a writer (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, for the second time this week, I was asked to stop putting on such an obviously fake "British" accent. I am British and have lived here all my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27325) - you deserved it (1857)
On 02/19/2013 at 1:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
