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Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years. I also found out later that symbol stands for urine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6844) - you deserved it (32885)
Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years. I also found out later that symbol stands for urine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6844) - you deserved it (32885)
Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30069) - you deserved it (1847)
On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25011) - you deserved it (3952)
On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7613) - you deserved it (11205)
On 10/21/2012 at 9:21pm - misc - by nickw177 (man) - United States
Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4144) - you deserved it (36211)
On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62523) - you deserved it (6324)
On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had to explain to my teacher that Czechoslovakia is no longer a country. She kicked me out of class when she found out I was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20298) - you deserved it (1104)
On 08/30/2012 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)
Today, I thought I felt my baby kicking for the first time. After excitedly exclaiming this fact to the few people around me, I involuntarily let out the loudest fart. Not the baby kicking, just gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15907) - you deserved it (3169)
On 05/19/2012 at 7:05am - health - by GothicAngel17 - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18542) - you deserved it (7430)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by unendowed - United States (Texas)
Today, I texted my boyfriend, and he pretended he was a Burger King employee who found a lost phone, just so that he wouldn't have to talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19407) - you deserved it (3015)
On 03/06/2012 at 8:56am - love - by biggirlsdocry (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27902) - you deserved it (4965)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard (man) - Reserved
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27902) - you deserved it (4965)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard (man) - Reserved
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25282) - you deserved it (11773)
On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22276) - you deserved it (2259)
On 10/11/2011 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by dinosaucer - United States (Delaware)
Friday 24 May 2013
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