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supervacaneous's FML badges
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supervacaneous's favorite FMLs
Today, I received a call from the police about a car accident that I was a witness to. As the only witness who stopped to help, I was remembered by the other cars involved. They're blaming me for the accident. The cops want to talk. FML
by Nearis / 02/15/2011 at 8:13pm / United States (Iowa) / Transportation
Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML
by TheKingDavis / 02/14/2011 at 2:11am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a text from a girl that I've had a crush on for a long time, asking me out to dinner. I agreed and went to the restaurant. Not long afterwards, I got text from her saying something had come up, so she couldn't make it. As I was walking back to my car, I saw her walk into the same restaurant with another guy. FML
by Saberwolf / 02/13/2011 at 4:14pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
by Username / 02/13/2011 at 4:06pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by jobless / 02/13/2011 at 12:31am / United States (North Dakota) / Work
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
by anonymous / 02/12/2011 at 12:48am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again. But I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out". My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 02/12/2011 at 12:19am / United States (Texas) / Love
by loner / 02/11/2011 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Shivvy / 02/10/2011 at 10:24pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Miscellaneous
by JaneVI / 02/10/2011 at 5:48pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I reported in for my first day at work. When I walked in they asked "Who are you?" I answered "Cassie, it's my first day today" with a huge smile. They'd meant to call and offer the job to the other Cassie they interviewed. FML
Today, it snowed a lot and my friends and I went outside for a walk. Someone drove by and threw a snowball at me, hitting me square in the face. Surprised, I side-stepped only to end up losing balance and roll down a hill into a ditch full of prickly bushes. FML
by effyou / 02/10/2011 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/27/2010 at 1:37pm / United States (New York) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/21/2010 at 12:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…
- Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't… Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at… Today, my new boyfriend and I really wanted to have sex, but he went soft as soon as he entered me.…