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superpoptart

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superpoptart

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 June 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1586
  • Number of comments : 159
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About superpoptart : Giraffe.

superpoptart's page activity

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superpoptart's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into a room, where a guy was violently picking his nose. He kept picking. A very pretty girl walked in after me, and he immediately stopped and sat up straight. Apparently, I'm too ugly to motivate strangers to stop excavating their nasal cavities. FML

#15546142
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32692) - you deserved it (4920)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:12pm - misc - by uggo - United States

Today, I was at my doctor's office. I thought I had a kidney stone. Turns out I'm pregnant and I have a kidney stone. FML

#14689339
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30484) - you deserved it (4755)

On 01/23/2011 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML

#14658044
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18936) - you deserved it (41575)

On 01/21/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML

#14199411
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14387) - you deserved it (27059)

On 12/14/2010 at 4:26am - health - by shit (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML

#14128362
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29247) - you deserved it (5400)

On 12/08/2010 at 3:46am - intimacy - by fishruinsex -

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

#13961788
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32128) - you deserved it (10654)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

#13220186
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16092) - you deserved it (25966)

On 09/27/2010 at 7:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML

#11011756
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42897) - you deserved it (6442)

On 06/06/2010 at 2:31pm - kids - by Annakins (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

#8265301
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19305) - you deserved it (4859)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by klsdhjla (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML

#7113361
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25599) - you deserved it (2969)

On 01/02/2010 at 10:22pm - kids - by arachnidphobia (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was riding on my usual bus, when I noticed a man staring at me. I was having a really bad day, and said "Can you please stop staring at me?" He then replied with "I'm just trying to look out the window, and your head is in the way. Don't flatter yourself." FML

#6456291
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8325) - you deserved it (41115)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized why my 50 year old Dad's 30 something girlfriend looked so familiar. She is in all my parents wedding photos... as the flower girl. FML

#6348430
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41616) - you deserved it (1788)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm - misc - by usmcgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, when I got to work, I found out that I was being laid off. Two hours later, I found out my boss had my name on the wrong list. I was elated. I went to lunch, and on the way back was rear ended in the rain. I was an hour and a half late getting back to work. I was fired upon returning. FML

#5568321
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37258) - you deserved it (2691)

On 09/30/2009 at 5:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML

#5477011
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27340) - you deserved it (17210)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:47pm - health - by snottyface (woman) - United States



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