superpoptart

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Offline (the 09/06/2015 at 3:34am)

superpoptart

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 June 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3422
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About superpoptart : Giraffe.

superpoptart's page activity

Visits<b>SouthernMidnight</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 11:23pm<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 5:00am<b>yourmomshotfirst</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 7:51pm<b>HPCullen251</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:02pm<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 1:11am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 9:10pm<b>NickVsHtml</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 8:56am<b>Bassel7</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 4:30am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 10:56am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 9:25am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 6:29pm<b>badbitchxx</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 11:48am<b>amyfann</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 6:42am<b>drunk_in_love</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 6:33pm<b>mischiefkel</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 11:15am<b>Henriqu3e</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 3:27am<b>missloud</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 4:04pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 2:27am

Fucked!<b>drunk_in_love</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 12:33am

superpoptart's FML badges

Socialite

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Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of superpoptart's badges

superpoptart's favorite FMLs

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making lunch, when my two-year-old ran up to me and handed me an empty bottle of baby powder. I soon realized I'd be spending the rest of my day cleaning the entire house. FML

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

by Keastwood013 / 01/18/2013 at 10:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

by aelia_oups / 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 8:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML

by divingconfidence / 12/22/2012 at 6:21am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, after several years spent hung up on my ex, I was finally moving on. I was on a date with my new boyfriend when my ex walked past us. He broke down crying, got on his knees, and begged me to come back. FML

by Miki / 12/16/2012 at 6:57pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm / Ireland (Waterford) / Intimacy

Today, I dropped my handbag into a water-filled gutter. As I was hurriedly fishing out the contents of my bag, I looked up. There was my ex, with the girl he left me for walking past, timed exactly to coincide with me manically scooping up one of many rapidly absorbing tampons. FML

by shamefaced / 12/06/2012 at 10:11pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Love

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

by kinkicali / 11/20/2012 at 3:43am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

by Medic / 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got yelled at for providing horrible customer service, in a store I don't even work for. FML

by anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 1:32am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 1:15pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy