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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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sueyking

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sueyking
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 253
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sueyking's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about 30 seconds in, I heard flipping. He was looking at a porn magazine. "It's to keep my erection" he answered. FML

#653658 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (76750) - you deserved it (6635)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:16pm - intimacy - by VampiresSayRawr (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, our entire crew team was at a yoga studio for an introductory yoga lesson. All my teammates could talk about how hot the yoga instructor was in her tight spandex while doing the sexy yoga poses. Everyone, including the coach, wanted to do her. The yoga instructor is my mom. FML

#644152 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (62571) - you deserved it (2886)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by unitywoods (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML

#641571 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (43852) - you deserved it (5297)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by Spawn_of_Satan (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

#505547 (367)

I agree, your life sucks (268314) - you deserved it (24541)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:15am - intimacy - by jilted (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML

#379230 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (96092) - you deserved it (26874)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by asleepinclass (woman) - Poland (Warszawa)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783 (313)

I agree, your life sucks (43643) - you deserved it (78429)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she randomly asked me "does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked "does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116 (308)

I agree, your life sucks (154964) - you deserved it (19180)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

#36396 (690)

I agree, your life sucks (342740) - you deserved it (22946)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)