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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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stripper_bitch

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stripper_bitch
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 September 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 275
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About stripper_bitch : my boyfriend is an idiot, and an asshole.

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Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML

#3849129 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (10429) - you deserved it (33541)

On 07/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by joedoe (man) - United States (California)

Today, I just found out that my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend are rooming together at college. Visits are going to be extremely awkward. FML

#3846556 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (41573) - you deserved it (4627)

On 07/18/2009 at 12:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566 (473)

I agree, your life sucks (21796) - you deserved it (865)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML

#3821134 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (5265) - you deserved it (59756)

On 07/17/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, as a camp counselor, I was discussing how stupid the idea of santa is to a co-worker, and how every parent should tell the truth to their kids. The intercom microphone was on. I single handily told a group of 100 six year olds that santa was not real. FML

#3812177 (250)

I agree, your life sucks (10116) - you deserved it (46504)

On 07/16/2009 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit and she screamed "Don't touch me there!". Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

#3782569 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (36945) - you deserved it (4720)

On 07/15/2009 at 7:22pm - kids - by shway (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

#3470108 (458)

I agree, your life sucks (52355) - you deserved it (8698)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter asked me what the youngest age you should start having sex is, being a good mother I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh...shoot." and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

#3344863 (484)

I agree, your life sucks (59159) - you deserved it (8376)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm - intimacy - by blazer - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

#3334132 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (56606) - you deserved it (4880)

On 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm - kids - by dad (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

#3146320 (459)

I agree, your life sucks (137104) - you deserved it (19620)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went out to dinner with my brother. There was a very attractive man sitting a few tables away who kept glancing at me. When my brother excused himself to the bathroom, the man worked up the courage to come over and introduce himself to me. He asked me if my brother was single. FML

#3104897 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (51364) - you deserved it (3241)

On 06/21/2009 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States

Today, my left-handed boss needed PC help. I said "right-click for the menu." She said nothing happened. Three times we went through this. Eventually I went over, asking her to show me what she did. She was using her right hand on the left mouse button. She earns $10,000 more than me. FML

#2798980 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (50075) - you deserved it (2040)

On 06/11/2009 at 11:21am - work - by girlfriday (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML

#2076493 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (50353) - you deserved it (5966)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that the guy i've been having sex with for over a month didn't know my name until today. No wonder he always ever called me 'baby.' FML

#1716313 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (26803) - you deserved it (51147)

On 05/07/2009 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by ummPORQUE (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML

#1653845 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (13100) - you deserved it (44506)

On 05/05/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)