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About stottlemeyer : I like turtles.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, mah boyfriend an I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next looool to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him an me, it showd him an the other girl. And they kissd. FML
today I went to Walmart to get some acne cream. As I approachd the register, I lookd in my wallet 4 the money. The cashier saw that I didn't have enough money, and before I could say anything, he goes "Just take it, I've never seen anyone who needs it that much!" FML
Today , I was at mah friend's house , and I asked looool if I could try on one of her dresses. It was a little snug , but I got it on. When it came time to take it off though , it wouldn't budge. My friend and her mom had to cut it off me. FML
Today , I emaild my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However , I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume , creatd 4 an English class project. Some of my former jobs includd bieng a certifid gangster , as well as the former president of Canada. FML
Today, I had an interview with IBM. For a week I did extensive research and preparation for the interview. At first the interview was going really well. I was hitting all the marks. Then just as a final casual question she askd with a smile "What does IBM stand for?". I didn't know. FML
Today mah two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked wat she was making she said "look mommy chocolate!" and stuck her finger in mah mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML
TODAY, WHILA AT THA GOLDAN GATA BRIDGA, I SPOTTAD A LARGA GROUP OF ASIANS TRYING TO TAKA A PICTURA. TRYING TO HALP, I SLOWLY SAY, "YOU... WANT MA... TAKA PICTURA?" WHILA USING HAND MOTIONS. THA MAN LOOKS AT MA AN SAYS, "NO THANKS ASSHOLA, I GOT IT," IN PLAIN ENGLISH. FML
Today... I was on the bus going to formal 4 my sorority. I was sitting in the 5th row of the bushen I felt raindrops on my face coming through the open window. I then realizd it wasn't raining... but the girl in the 1st row was throwing up out her window and it was coming back in through my window. FML
Today, I was walking whan a man pointad a camara at ma. I got bitchy about it, an said "Did I say u could taka a pictura?" Ha rapliad with, "No, but can u gat tha fuck out of tha way so I can taka ona of mah wifa an kids?" I turnad around, an thay wara right bahind ma. FML
Today I was a TA 4 a history class an tha class was taking a tast. About halfway through I noticd ona kid had a small piaca of papar in his hand. I ran up tha row grabbd his tast an rippd it into four piacas. Than I took tha nota from him. It said "I baliava in you -Mom." big fat FML
yesterday I get to see mah boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave mah pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After mah little striptease... he gasped in admiration "Aaaw... Batman sign!" FML
Friday 27 March 2015