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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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stormgirl88

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stormgirl88
  • Town/Country : Poughkeepsie, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 12 February 1989 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 8868
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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stormgirl88's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied "They worked on you." FML

#5203249 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (7209) - you deserved it (29331)

On 09/12/2009 at 8:00am - love - by TrainedBF (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, the guy I have been in love with for years decided to tell me all about his women problems and how he can't find someone. After telling him I loved him he responds, "do you know if anyone else does?" FML

#5201884 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (33491) - you deserved it (2377)

On 09/12/2009 at 3:39am - love - by ksgirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter followed by embarrassment. FML

#5003582 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (15061) - you deserved it (21614)

On 09/02/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Math_Rocker (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed "holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML

#4981586 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (8986) - you deserved it (29428)

On 09/01/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by becca1417 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (32902) - you deserved it (1917)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

#1600602 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (94796) - you deserved it (3924)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben & Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML

#1430731 (356)

I agree, your life sucks (126265) - you deserved it (6991)

On 04/28/2009 at 6:13pm - money - by Sad (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I tried taking some over-the-counter allergy medication to help with my terrible seasonal allergies so I could finally get some sleep. I had an allergic reaction to the medicine. FML

#1423158 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (44190) - you deserved it (2687)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:16pm - health - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I like and he was doing homework. Then, he looks up, his eyes meeting mine. His smooth voice mutters my name as his face inches closer to mine. I can feel his minty breath against my face. My pulse is racing. Then, he says "What's a pronoun?" FML

#1372393 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (46204) - you deserved it (7884)

On 04/26/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by theatreismylife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML

#1349405 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (65906) - you deserved it (2882)

On 04/26/2009 at 8:35am - love - by shawty_x (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, i had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. right when i finished, i ran out of gas. My 83 year old grandmother saw. FML

#1347593 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (8160) - you deserved it (57253)

On 04/26/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by waltzy777 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was doing a fitness test. Though clumsy, I managed to spin around a bat then dash across a balance beam, run through some tires, and walk across a log floating in water. Pleased with my performance, I walked to the bathroom, tripped on my shoelace, and busted my head on the floor. FML

#1314307 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (37233) - you deserved it (3521)

On 04/25/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by Clumsy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom had big news. I've been trying to get her to quit smoking because of second hand smoke for 20 years. She learned today that second hand smoke severely affects animals as well. Her big news? She's quitting. She doesn't want to hurt the dog. FML

#1296374 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (50200) - you deserved it (2064)

On 04/24/2009 at 6:23pm - health - by whatthehell (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my son and I were on an airplane playing "I Spy" to pass the time. The game went back and forth a few times when my son said, "I spy something yellow." After pointing out numerous yellow objects on the plane I gave up. He said, "Daddy! It's your teeth!" FML

#1225856 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (42811) - you deserved it (12828)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:46pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML

#1219528 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (61232) - you deserved it (5200)

On 04/22/2009 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)