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stonewashed

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stonewashed

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 October 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 175
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About stonewashed : I don't even know...

stonewashed's page activity

Visits<b>dammityou</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 1:44pm

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stonewashed's favorite FMLs

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

#21443029
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23509) - you deserved it (3702)

On 07/17/2015 at 1:14pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

#21364034
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27622) - you deserved it (13058)

On 02/26/2015 at 4:17pm - misc - by MuteNToot (man) -

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48992) - you deserved it (6989)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was informed by a laughing friend, that my phone must be taking and uploading photos to Google+. Among numerous black shots, there is a particularly nice one of me while I'm sitting on the toilet. FML

#21208679
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36624) - you deserved it (5612)

On 07/14/2014 at 5:31am - misc - by photoman (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45275) - you deserved it (8486)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37080) - you deserved it (14804)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

#20962468
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43198) - you deserved it (5852)

On 11/18/2013 at 6:47pm - animals - by Catcrap! - United States (California)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44531) - you deserved it (5400)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

#20838395
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53974) - you deserved it (3899)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59871) - you deserved it (21092)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)



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