stolentrix

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stolentrix

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 May 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 814
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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stolentrix's page activity

Visits<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 11:25pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 11:02am<b>that_average_guy</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 9:46pm<b>Just_Ya</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 2:33pm<b>Mordeci</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 3:12pm<b>coolbeansg</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 9:34am<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/14/2009 at 4:33pm

stolentrix's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

stolentrix's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of 10 months moved to Europe and we may never see each other again, so I gave her a $200 sterling silver heart necklace as a goodbye present. She gave me a pack of gum. Cinnamon, which I'm allergic to. FML

by dogs_and_toucans / 06/08/2009 at 2:47pm / United States / Love

Today, was my graduation party. My birthday was about a week ago so my parents combined the presents. I thought it would be something big so I hinted for a new TV. I got a snuggie. FML

by AllyCat / 06/07/2009 at 12:49am / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, I decided to go tanning. I went outside and took my top off and laid out in the sun for about an hour. When I was about to go inside a phone rang. It belonged to one of the five men that were working on my roof and watching me the entire time. FML

by fihifgni210 / 05/20/2009 at 12:54pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 11:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

by Takuma / 05/20/2009 at 1:10am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

by Kens / 05/19/2009 at 8:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation

Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML

by June / 05/19/2009 at 5:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

by jrocks / 05/19/2009 at 1:06pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML

by nana / 05/19/2009 at 10:04am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML

by nana / 05/19/2009 at 10:04am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I could never marry him because he's a Yankees fan. He told me he could never marry me because he couldn't see himself having a terrible love life for the rest of his life. He was serious. FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2009 at 11:18am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I went to a store to buy pants for a new job. A really hot guy helped me get a pair down from a high shelf so I could try them on. He had flirted with me so I hurried in the fitting room so I could go talk to him. Note to self: Check to see if you have pants on after trying on clothes. FML

by sweet92 / 05/15/2009 at 12:32am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend who has been overseas the last four months broke up with me. I sent him a care package two days ago. He'll get homemade cookies (his mom's recipe), naughty videos of me and a letter telling him how much I love him in about a week. FML

by bettycrocker / 05/14/2009 at 2:16pm / United States (California) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous